The diagram below shows the manufacturing process for making sugar from sugar cane. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The diagram below shows the manufacturing process for making sugar from sugar cane.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
The process diagram shows how
sugar
is made from
sugar
cane
. There are seven stages, with only two variables. The process begins with
sugar
cane
and ends with plain
sugar
.
To begin
with, the
sugar
-making process requires
sugar
cane
, which is grown for a period of twelve to eighteen months.
This
is
then
harvested, which can be done in one of two ways. Either it is mechanically collected by means of a tractor or it is gathered by hand. Following its collection, the
sugar
cane
is fed through a crushing machine in order to extract the juice.
This
is
then
purified by being fed through a limestone filter
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
before
then
being heated in an evaporator. Here, the juice turns into
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
syrup.
Next,
it is fed into a centrifuge, where
sugar
crystals are separated from the syrup. In the final stage, the
sugar
is cooled and dried in some kind of vat.
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Basic structure: Change the second paragraph.
Basic structure: Change the third paragraph.
Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 70%.
Vocabulary: Replace the words sugar, cane with synonyms.
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "shows" in your introduction.
Vocabulary: Only 2 basic words for charts were used.
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • manufacturing process
  • sugar cane
  • harvesting
  • transporting
  • factory
  • crushing
  • extracting
  • juice
  • filtering
  • impurities
  • heating
  • evaporating
  • syrup
  • boiling
  • crystallizing
  • sugar
  • separating
  • drying
  • packaging
  • distribution
  • stage
  • process
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