IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

It has become more easier and more affordable for people to travel to other countries. Do you think it is a positive or a negative development? Give your opinion and relevant examples from your experience.

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Nowadays,
people
Use synonyms
 who want to travel to other
countries
Use synonyms
 could be
more
Change the word
apply
show examples
easier. By
this
Linking Words
 development, I consider it would have a positive impact on
regading
Correct your spelling
regarding
reading
people
Use synonyms
's experience living in abroad and the
tourism
Use synonyms
places
Use synonyms
 in their
country
Use synonyms
 could be neglected as a negative side. I will elaborate more on
this
Linking Words
 essay. On the one hand, if
people
Use synonyms
 have
an
Correct article usage
the
show examples
 easiness to go abroad, they would have many experiences
regading
Correct your spelling
regarding
 cultures from other
countries
Use synonyms
.
By
Change preposition
Through
show examples
this
Linking Words
 experience, they would
be
Verb problem
become
show examples
 more mature and more tolerant
to
Change preposition
of
show examples
 other
people
Use synonyms
.
For example
Linking Words
,
people
Use synonyms
 who travel to
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
countries
Use synonyms
 which have different
lifestyle
Fix the agreement mistake
lifestyles
show examples
and even
religion
Fix the agreement mistake
religions
show examples
, as strangers,
they
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
must appreciate the domestic
people
Use synonyms
 in that
country
Use synonyms
.
This
Linking Words
 situation would form their self-maturity to compromise with other
people
Use synonyms
.
In addition
Linking Words
, easiness
to
Change preposition
of
show examples
 travel to other
countries
Use synonyms
 could be a method to release
people
Use synonyms
's
stressful
Replace the word
stress
show examples
 from their work. They would like to become more enjoyable and
this
Linking Words
 way
is
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
expected to be more energetic when they go back to their work schedule.
On the other hand
Linking Words
,
people
Use synonyms
 who prefer to
going
Change the verb
go
show examples
 to another
country
Use synonyms
 rather than their
countries
Use synonyms
 would generate a negative impact on their
tourism
Use synonyms
places
Use synonyms
. It is because some
people
Use synonyms
 consider they could go to
other
Change the wording
another country
other countries
show examples
country
Use synonyms
 with
a
Change the article
an
show examples
 affordable budget,
as a result
Linking Words
, some
Use synonyms
tourism
Replace the word
tourist
show examples
places
Use synonyms
 in their
country
Use synonyms
 are neglected and the
people
Use synonyms
 around there who rely on visitors
have
Add a missing verb
do have
show examples
 not a sufficient income.
This
Linking Words
 certainly affects
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the stability of
economy
Add an article
the economy
show examples
 in a
country
Use synonyms
. In conclusion,
people
Use synonyms
 have a positive experience regarding their ability to be more adaptable with other
people
Use synonyms
 and
this
Linking Words
 could be a tool to stress away from their work.
Also
Linking Words
, the negative side is related to the domestic
tourism
Use synonyms
places
Use synonyms
 which could be neglected.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence cohesion
Your essay showed some logical flow, but the introduction and conclusion need improvement. Try to provide a more comprehensive and clear response to the prompt. Additionally, include more relevant and specific examples to support your points.
task achievement
Your essay falls short in terms of task achievement. Make sure to provide a complete and comprehensive response to the prompt. Your ideas are somewhat clear but lack relevant and specific examples to fully support your points.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Advancements in transportation
  • Cultural curiosity
  • Economic reasons
  • Globalization
  • Educational opportunities
  • Digital nomadism
  • Healthcare tourism
  • Tourism industry growth
  • Personal development
  • Interconnectedness
  • Higher living standards
  • Remote work
  • Broaden their horizons
  • Affordable travel
  • Medical treatments
  • Global perspective
  • Air travel options
  • Cuisines
  • Lifestyles
  • Job opportunities
What to do next:
Look at other essays: