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Writing Samples
Band 3.5

This map illustrates the industrial are and the planned future development of the town of Norbiton.

This map illustrates the industrial are and the planned future development of the town of Norbiton.
#future #development #town #norbiton
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These days, in business advertising, it is common to appeal
Use synonyms
products
Change preposition
to products
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 with new characteristics.
This
Linking Words
 is because
consumers
Use synonyms
 tend to be tempted by new things, and it is one of the most possible ways for the company to highlight
product
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 points. I personally think that the
advantages
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 of
this
Linking Words
 trend outweigh the disadvantages. First of all, most people are attracted to advertising and buy certain
products
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. So, in order to attract consumer attention, it is natural for
companies
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 to emphasize new aspects of their
products
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.
Linking Words
Also
Add a comma
,Also
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 regular customers are always looking for something new because they want to spend money on better items than before. What “new” means to
consumers
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 would be reasonably expected to mean “ developed”.
For instance
Linking Words
, when a company releases a new
product
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,
consumers
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 are not interested
without
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in
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 the development of an older version, so they need to develop additional features,
product
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 improvement methods, and new design ideas.
In addition
Linking Words
, since the purpose of advertising is to reach customers and sell
products
Use synonyms
, it is commercially reasonable for most
companies
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 to focus on the
advantages
Use synonyms
 of
products
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. Some may argue that advertising, in which
companies
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 try to appeal
new
Change preposition
to new
show examples
products
Use synonyms
, creates unnecessary high competition. But I disagree with
this
Linking Words
 argument. With the development of the internet, reasonable
consumers
Use synonyms
 can collect information and distinguish between false and misleading advertisements.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, in order to advertise new benefits,
companies
Use synonyms
 must strive to develop
products
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.
This
Linking Words
 is why
companies
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 spend huge amounts of money on research and development as they develop
technology
Add an article
the technology
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. Advances in technology and the launch of new
products
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 make our lives more convenient. In conclusion, for
companies
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, emphasizing the new
advantages
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 of the
product
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 is effective in promoting it to customers.
Also
Linking Words
, there are more
advantages
Use synonyms
 than disadvantages.
Therefore
Linking Words
, through
product
Use synonyms
 advertisements by
companies
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,
consumers
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 can consume reasonably, and
companies
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 will make more efforts to develop technologies to make money. These technological advances make our lives more convenient.
Submitted by toybox29 on

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "also".
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Introduction: The introduction is missing.
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Introduction: Change the first sentence in the introduction.
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Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.
Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Basic structure: Change the fourth paragraph.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words products, consumers, product, advantages, companies with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Only 5 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fourth paragraph.
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