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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The chart below shows the number of men and women in further education in Britain in three periods and whether they were studying full-time or part-time. Write a report for a university lecturer describing the information shown below.

The chart below shows the number of men and women in further education in Britain in three periods and whether they were studying full-time or part-time. Write a report for a university lecturer describing the information shown below.
#men #women #education #britain #three #periods #report #university #lecturer #information
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The bar chart gives information on the number of people who studied full-time or part-time divided by gender in the UK from the 1970s to the 1990s.
Overall
Linking Words
,
it is clear that
Linking Words
 both genders trained full-time rather than part-time. Most
of
Change preposition
apply
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females
Add an article
the females
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 studied full-time and part-time in
1990s
Change the article
the 1990s
show examples
. In
case
Correct article usage
the case
show examples
 of males, the largest number of males studied part-time in the 1970s
while
Linking Words
 the men who learned full-time were the most in the 1990s.
According to
Linking Words
 the graph, the population of women who studied full-time increased rapidly nearly from 100
Use synonyms
thousands
Change to singular
thousand
show examples
 to 200
Use synonyms
thousands
Change to singular
thousand
show examples
 between the 1970s and the 1980s. At the same time, the number of those
studied
Correct pronoun usage
who studied
show examples
part- time
Add a hyphen
part-time
show examples
 went up and it soared from 800
Use synonyms
thousands
Change to singular
thousand
show examples
 to 1100
Use synonyms
thousands
Change to singular
thousand
show examples
 between the 1980s and the 1990s.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, the population of males gradually rose about from 100
Use synonyms
Change to singular
thousand
show examples
Fix the agreement mistake
thousand
show examples
thousands
Correct your spelling
thousand
show examples
 to 200
Use synonyms
Change to singular
thousand
show examples
Fix the agreement mistake
thousand
show examples
thousands
Correct your spelling
thousand
show examples
.
However
Linking Words
, the figure for men who
studies
Change the verb form
study
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 part-time fluctuated. It decreased from 1000
Use synonyms
thousands
Change to singular
thousand
show examples
 to nearly 900
Use synonyms
thousands
Change to singular
thousand
show examples
 between the 1970s and the 1980s, but the figure minimally increased again from the 1980s to the 1990s.
Submitted by jjhtoki on

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words thousands with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "figure" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "nearly" was used 2 times.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • engaged in
  • distinct
  • categorizes
  • enrollment status
  • surpass
  • compared to
  • stability
  • increased significantly
  • equal number
  • gap
  • outnumber
  • decreased
  • part-time courses
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