IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The worldwide population of children aged 15 and younger is rising. What are the current and future advantages and disadvantages for countries with this kind of growth?

#population #children #future #countries #growth
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Recent studies into the world demographics revealed that in several countries population of children aged 15 and younger
is
Change the verb form
are
show examples
 rising at a rapid pace.
This
Linking Words
 reality has advantages and disadvantages in present
as well as
Linking Words
 in
future
Use synonyms
. In
this
Linking Words
 essay, we will discuss both aspects in detail. The benefit of having a high ratio of adolescents in our society is the energy and enthusiasm that they possess. They are eager to take on any challenge that comes their way to satisfy their thirst to prove themselves. If their energies are channelled properly, countries can reap profound benefits in near
future
Use synonyms
 and can reach heights they haven't even imagined.
For instance
Linking Words
, if the government provides adequate experimental facilities to teenagers interested in the field of science, they may turn out to be extremely capable scientists that can change the
future
Use synonyms
 of the world with their inventions.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, people argue that it is difficult to maintain checks and balances on a large number of children and most of them will conveniently get away with any wrongdoings. Parents and teachers would be unable to keep a close eye on their children or pupils if they are more in number.
This
Linking Words
 would eventually lead to their failure in
future
Use synonyms
.
For example
Linking Words
, in a class of 50 students, the teacher would have lesser time to focus on every student.
Thus
Linking Words
 each student will not get appropriate attention and may tend to lose their focus, ultimately deviating from the right path. To recapitulate, a greater number of young ones in society can have a positive impact on the country's advancement in technology and other areas. But at the same time,
due to
Linking Words
 a lack of appropriate guidance, the young ones may eventually become socially distant lacking basic moral values.
Submitted by abeera.ejaz1234 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • 1. Demographic Dividend
  • 2. Dependency Ratio
  • 3. Workforce
  • 4. Economic Growth
  • 5. Innovation
  • 6. Sustainable Development
  • 7. Social Services
  • 8. Natural Resources
  • 9. Healthcare Systems
  • 10. Education Systems
  • 11. Employment Challenges
  • 12. Environmental Conservation
  • 13. Public Infrastructure
  • 14. Social Unrest
  • 15. Technological Progress
  • 16. Cultural Vibrancy
  • 17. Investment
  • 18. Resource Scarcity
  • 19. Effective Governance
  • 20. Social Stability
What to do next:
Look at other essays: