The graphs below show the numbers of male and female workers in 1975 and 1995 in several employment sectors of the Republic of Freedonia.

The graphs below show the numbers of male and female workers in 1975 and 1995 in several employment sectors of the Republic of Freedonia.
IELTS Writing Task Chart for The graphs below show the numbers of male and female workers in 1975 and 1995 in several employment sectors of the Republic of Freedonia.
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The diagrams compare the male and female employment status in six different
job
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sectors
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in two different years – 1975 and 1995. As is seen from the given illustration, men were well ahead of women in all the
job
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sectors
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in Freedonia in 1975.
However
Linking Words
, the scenario changed in 1995 and
Correct article usage
the women
show examples
women
Change noun form
women's
show examples
employment scenario showed
a
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apply
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remarkable progress.
According to
Linking Words
the charts, men in Freedonia were visibly ahead of females in manufacturing, finance/banking, wholesale & retail trade, defence and non-defence
sectors
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. In manufacturing, more than 600 male
employees
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could be seen against only 300 female
employees
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out of a thousand
employees
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. Except in the communication
sector
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, the proportion of male
employees
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was far greater than that of females. Among the given
job
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sectors
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, the public /non-defence
sector
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had the highest number of
employees
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while
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the defence
sector
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had the least ratio of
employees
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. After 20 years, women showed an outstanding advancement in these
job
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sectors
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and they went well ahead of men in
communication
Correct article usage
the communication
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, wholesale & retail trade
sectors
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. They become almost equal in number in finance and banking jobs
while
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the gap between male and female
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employees’
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employees
show examples
number reduced in defence jobs. The only
sector
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still dominated by
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
male was manufacturing and the
job
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ratio in
this
Linking Words
sector
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remained almost the same as it was 20 years earlier.

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
Vocabulary: Replace the words job, sectors, employees, sector with synonyms.
Vocabulary: The word "give" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "showed" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "ratio" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "almost" was used 2 times.
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