The graphs below show the numbers of male and female workers in 1975 and 1995 in several employment sectors of the Republic of Freedonia.

IELTS Writing Task Chart for The graphs below show the numbers of male and female workers in 1975 and 1995 in several employment sectors of the Republic of Freedonia.

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The diagrams compare the male and female employment status in six different

job

Use synonyms

sectors

Use synonyms

in two different years – 1975 and 1995. As is seen from the given illustration, men were well ahead of women in all the

job

Use synonyms

sectors

Use synonyms

in Freedonia in 1975.

However

Linking Words

, the scenario changed in 1995 and

Correct article usage

the women

show examples

women

Change noun form

women's

show examples

employment scenario showed

Remove the article

apply

show examples

remarkable progress.

According to

Linking Words

the charts, men in Freedonia were visibly ahead of females in manufacturing, finance/banking, wholesale & retail trade, defence and non-defence

sectors

Use synonyms

. In manufacturing, more than 600 male

employees

Use synonyms

could be seen against only 300 female

employees

Use synonyms

out of a thousand

employees

Use synonyms

. Except in the communication

sector

Use synonyms

, the proportion of male

employees

Use synonyms

was far greater than that of females. Among the given

job

Use synonyms

sectors

Use synonyms

, the public /non-defence

sector

Use synonyms

had the highest number of

employees

Use synonyms

while

Linking Words

the defence

sector

Use synonyms

had the least ratio of

employees

Use synonyms

. After 20 years, women showed an outstanding advancement in these

job

Use synonyms

sectors

Use synonyms

and they went well ahead of men in

communication

Correct article usage

the communication

show examples

, wholesale & retail trade

sectors

Use synonyms

. They become almost equal in number in finance and banking jobs

while

Linking Words

the gap between male and female

Use synonyms

employees’

Change noun form

employees

show examples

number reduced in defence jobs. The only

sector

Use synonyms

still dominated by

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

male was manufacturing and the

job

Use synonyms

ratio in

this

Linking Words

sector

Use synonyms

remained almost the same as it was 20 years earlier.

Murod / MaksudWed Apr 12 2023

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".

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Vocabulary: Replace the words job, sectors, employees, sector with synonyms.

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Vocabulary: The word "give" was used 2 times.

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Vocabulary: The word "showed" was used 2 times.

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Vocabulary: The word "ratio" was used 2 times.

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Vocabulary: The word "almost" was used 2 times.

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4
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
6
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Introduction & conclusion present

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

3 paragraphs

220 words

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The graphs below show the numbers of male and female workers in 1975 and 1995 in several employment sectors of the Republic of Freedonia.

"Old people are an essential part of society, so they should be respected.” How much do you agree with this opinion and why? Give reasons and examples to support your answer

Parents should be required to attend parenting courses every year to bring up their children well and give them a better environment for growth. To what extent, do you agree or disagree?

Some people think that the increase in international travel has a negative impact on the environment and should be restricted. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

It was predicted that people living in the twenty-first century would have more free time than ever before because of improvements in technology. To what extent has this prediction come true?