IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Rich countries often give money to poorer countries, but it does not solve poverty. Therefore, developed countries should give other types of help to the poor countries rather than financial aid. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Rich countries often give money to poorer countries, but it does not solve poverty. Therefore, developed countries should give other types of help to the poor countries rather than financial aid. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
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Many undeveloped
countries
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 nowadays face too many problems
such
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 as poor education, health facilities, and trade
system
Fix the agreement mistake
systems
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.
However
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, I disagree that rich nations ought to support these
countries
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, I think they should try to stand on their own feet
instead
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. I believe
this
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 way for two reasons, which I will explain in
this
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 essay.
To begin
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 with, the most crucial aspect that makes people poor is the wrong authorities. It’s an undeniable fact that they choose unqualified people who ought to
this
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country
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 to develop facilities and extend their
country
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.
For instance
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, the Nova is controlled by an unacknowledged person who has a reason why unfair, corrupt, and poor nation. If they select the right person and right decisions, they will probably develop.
Furthermore
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, they ought to build their
country
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 with their own hands.
On the other hand
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, rich
countries
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 should spend their money in order to develop their constructions and resources.
Moreover
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, they have been involved in their education, health, and trade
system
Fix the agreement mistake
systems
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.
For example
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, rich
countries
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’ money depended on their taxes and duties. The people who
are
Verb problem
put
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 more effort into their work and facilities, able to
involve
Wrong verb form
be involved
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 in their own
country
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. if they earn money themselves, they will spend their finance to
investment
Wrong verb form
invest in
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 their businesses and cities. In conclusion, I think developing
countries
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 should not aid poor
countries
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, as their funds should be invested in the betterment of life for their own citizens. Undeveloped nations can often overcome their evolution by eliminating corrupt officials and improving their authority.

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Task Response
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Coherence and Cohesion
Work on organizing your ideas in a logical manner with clear introduction and conclusion. Develop a coherent and cohesive argument with proper use of linking devices within and between sentences and paragraphs.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • poverty alleviation
  • economic inequality
  • developing nations
  • foreign aid
  • sustainable growth
  • technical assistance
  • expertise
  • infrastructure
  • education
  • fair trade
  • trade barriers
  • sustainable development
  • environmental conservation
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