Nowadays technology is increasingly being used to monitor what people are saying and doing (for example, through cell phone tracking and security cameras). In many cases, the people being monitored are unaware that this is happening. Do you think the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages?

Technology is believed to be used for monitoring what people are saying and doing (
for example
, through cellphone tracking and
security
cameras
). In many cases, the people being monitored are not aware that
this
is happening. In my opinion, I strongly think that the benefits of
this
development outweigh the drawbacks. Advocates of
this
idea base their ground on the fact that the rate of crimes reduces recently. To be more specific, with the advantages of cellphone tracking and
security
cameras
, the police have
ability
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the ability
show examples
to find more
effectively
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effective
show examples
and
efficiency
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efficiently
show examples
.
For example
, when there is a bank robbery, a policeman just needs to watch the
security
cameras
of the bank,
then
Correct word choice
and then
show examples
he will identify the appearance of a criminal.
Then
he can catch him in a short time.
Therefore
, it is
cleared
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clear
show examples
that before committing an
offense
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offence
show examples
, a criminal tends to think carefully as he understands that he will be caught soon.
However
,
this
development
also
has a disadvantage which is individual liberty might be disturbed.
In other words
, it is
undenied
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undeniable
show examples
that cellphone tracking and
security
cameras
record all the activities of
humane
Replace the word
humans
show examples
, even in private situations
such
as
the
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apply
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sad story or
their
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
embarrassed
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embarrassing
show examples
moments they don’t want to share. Because of
this
, technology might result in unpleasantness for people. All in all, it
if
Correct your spelling
is
show examples
obvious that
although
technology might violate people’s privacy in some ways by recording all
the
Change the word
their
show examples
activities, I still think the development of it will bring about several benefits
such
as reducing the rate of crimes.
Submitted by kakaka03 on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • 1. Surveillance
  • 2. Monitoring
  • 3. Cell phone tracking
  • 4. Security cameras
  • 5. Public safety
  • 6. Law enforcement
  • 7. Privacy concerns
  • 8. Personal freedom
  • 9. Autonomous
  • 10. Breach of trust
  • 11. Misuse of information
  • 12. Institutional integrity
  • 13. Psychological impact
  • 14. Mental well-being
  • 15. Societal trust
  • 16. Paranoia
  • 17. Transparency
  • 18. Stringent regulations
  • 19. Criminal deterrence
  • 20. Apprehension of criminals
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