The diagram gives information about the process of making carbonated drinks. Summarise the information by selecting and report in the main features, and make comparisons where relev

The diagram gives information about the process of making carbonated drinks.

Summarise the information by selecting and report in the main features, and make comparisons where relev
The graph illustrates the entire process of manufacturing carbonated drinks, including purifying, desensitizing, adding
flavour
, packaging, and transportation.
Overall
, there are five stages before the final product is sent to supermarkets,
starts
Wrong verb form
starting
show examples
with raw material, which will be heated and blended in substance to create
flavour
and texture before being packed into different containers and shipped to destinations. First of all, raw
water
will be sent from the storage to the
water
softener through a filter, where the chemicals are involved to complete the process of
water
cleaning. Following the second stage for heating evaporation and carbonation
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
includes pumping the helf-completed products into electric heaters, later the cooling pipe will reduce the temperature of the
water
before relocating it into carbon dioxide to make carbonated
water
. In the third stage, carbonated
water
will be combined with various elements to create
flavour
, including colouring, syrup, and
flavour
. Final products will be packed into either can or bottle
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
after
go
Change the verb form
going
show examples
through a filter
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
and be sent to supermarkets.
Submitted by unapoya0916 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Linking words: Add more linking words.
Basic structure: Change the fourth paragraph.
Vocabulary: Replace the words flavour, water with synonyms.
Vocabulary: Only 3 basic words for charts were used.
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fourth paragraph.
What to do next:
Look at other essays: