IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3.5

The charts below show that UK graduate and post graduate students who did not go into full time work after leaving college in 2008

The charts below show that UK graduate and post graduate students who did not go into full time work after leaving college in 2008
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The two bars portray the
students
Use synonyms
 of UK
graduates
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 and post-
graduates
Use synonyms
 who did not continue full-time
work
Use synonyms
 after graduation in 2008.
Overall
Linking Words
,
further
Linking Words
 study was the highest number among
graduates
Use synonyms
 and post-
graduates
Use synonyms
 (29,665 and 2,725) and voluntary
work
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 was the lowest (3,500 and 345). Looking into detail, 17,735
graduates
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 student chose to be part-time workers,
while
Linking Words
 postgraduate
students
Use synonyms
 only 2,535.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, there was a numerous number of unemployment for graduate
students
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 with 16,236 and 1,625 for postgraduate
students
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.
However
Linking Words
, from the data, the number of
students
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 who joined in voluntary
work
Use synonyms
 was the lowest (
graduates
Use synonyms
: 3,500 and voluntary
work
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 only 345). All of
this
Linking Words
 shows how many Bachelors prefer to continue their studies than to
work
Use synonyms
.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Introduction: The introduction is missing.
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Introduction: Change the first sentence in the introduction.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Basic structure: Change the first paragraph.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words students, graduates, work with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: Only 3 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the first paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
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