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Writing Samples /
Band 6.5

The bar chart below shows average UK salaries, by city. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The bar chart below shows average UK salaries, by city. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
#bar #uk #salaries #city #summarise #information #features #comparisons
The Bar chart illustrates, the average UK
salary
 by city, including seven cities with
average
Add an article
an average
show examples
of
Change preposition
apply
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salaries beginning from 24,750 to 34,000,
in addition
,
the
Change preposition
to the
show examples
 currency pounds sterling.
Overall
,
to begin
 with, Cambridge,
England
 is the highest
salary
 Before London,
While
 the second ad third cities were Bristol and Edinburgh,
therefore
, the numbers in brackets after the cities' name is the number of
people
 in the sample,
Firstly
, London was the biggest
salary
, 33,634 pounds sterling by the number of
people
 is 50951, as we see the second city s Cambridge,
England
; with 2180
people
 in the sample,
moreover
, the average
salary
 is 29,854.
hence
, Edinburgh, Scotland and Bristol
England
;
remains
Correct subject-verb agreement
remain
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 constant in the average salaries
while
in
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apply
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the number of
people
 in Bristol
a
Add a missing verb
is a
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bit high than
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in edinburgh
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edinburgh
Change the capitalization
Edinburgh
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,
furthermore
,the average
salary
 in Glasgow,
scotland
Change the capitalization
Scotland
show examples
 is 26,150,
in contrast
, the proportion
on
Change preposition
of
show examples
salary
 in Manchester,
england
Change the capitalization
England
show examples
 is 25,909. as I mentioned the lowest salaries were in Birmingham,
England
.
Submitted by creativedesign1a9 on

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
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Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 67%.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words salary, england, people with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Only 5 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 3 times.
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