In many developing countries, children work in some form to bring in necessary income from an early age. In the first world, many people think this is damaging and wrong but others would argue that their work brings them a sense of contributing, belonging and responsibility. What is your opinion?

#countries #children #work #form #income #age #first #world #people #sense #responsibility

Having

children

who get involved in some

works

Fix the agreement mistake

work

show examples

could be found in many developing countries. Some people consider

children

are

Unnecessary verb

apply

show examples

not supposed to have

sort

Correct quantifier usage

any sort

show examples

of responsibility. In my opinion,

this

would bring a positive and negative side, which I will elaborate

Change preposition

on more

show examples

below

Change preposition

on below

show examples

Regarding

Change preposition

show examples

the positive side, by allowing

children

working

Change the verb form

to work

show examples

, they would be encouraged to be responsible for their

work

and they could implement it in their daily

life's

Change the noun form

lives

life

show examples

such

as their

school

homeworks

Correct your spelling

homework

In addition

, If

children

have a job from

early

Add an article

an early

show examples

age, they would seem to be mature in terms of mentality.

Therefore

, they could

be relied

Change to the active voice

rely

have relied

show examples

on some tasks which are unsuitable for

a common

Correct the article-noun agreement

a common child

common children

show examples

children

For example

, they would contribute to support their family's income. Turning to the negative side, encouraging

children

work

Change preposition

show examples

their age has a problem with their

focused

Change the form of the verb

focus

show examples

on their

school

. It is because they

concern

Wrong verb form

concerned

show examples

Change preposition

about

show examples

accomplishing their

work

which

make

Change the verb form

makes

show examples

them being tired to follow

learning

Correct article usage

the learning

show examples

process in their

school

As a consequence

, they are not comfortable in the class and they obtain a low

grade

Fix the agreement mistake

grades

show examples

Moreover

, If

children

have an income, they would possibly not prioritize their

school

. It is a bad condition for countries which would like to increase human

resouces

Correct your spelling

resources

academic

Add an article

the academic

show examples

sector. In conclusion, having

Correct the article-noun agreement

apply

show examples

children

who

work

would make them

being

Unnecessary verb

apply

show examples

responsiblity

Correct your spelling

responsibility

responsible

However

, they tend to neglect their study

Change preposition

show examples

their

school

Submitted by misstiasclassroom on Wed Apr 12 2023

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Word Count

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A very long essay will not give you a higher band score.

Aim for between 260 to 290 words in writing task 2. This will ensure a concise essay and will be realistic in terms of time management. You have only 40 minutes to write the essay and you need around 10 minutes of planning time, so you will not be able to write a long essay in 30 minutes.

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8Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
25Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

232 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 9.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 8.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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In many developing countries, children work in some form to bring in necessary income from an early age. In the first world, many people think this is damaging and wrong but others would argue that their work brings them a sense of contributing, belonging and responsibility. What is your opinion?

Word Count

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Wild animals have no place in the 21st century, so protecting them is a waste of resources. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

online shopping seems to be replacing the traditional method of buying. however some buyers are sceptical to this practice. discuss both benefits and risks associated with online shopping

"Nowadays, the way people interact with each other has changed because of technology. In what ways has technology affected the types of relationships people make? Has this become a positive or negative development? Type two: type one is this alright?"