Some people argue that it is more important to have an enjoyable job than earn a lots of money. Others disagree and think that good salary leads to better life. Discuuss both the views and give your opinion.

#people #job #lots #money #salary #life #discuuss

While

some people say that it is far more important to have an enjoyable

job

, others disagree and think that a good income leads to a better life. It is quite a pressing question nowadays. I am going to discuss both views and give my opinion in

this

essay.

Firstly

, the matter of

money

is always important.

Moreover

, you cannot live without

money

because you will not be capable of paying for a living.

For instance

, If you work for free, you will not be able to pay for food, clothes and rent. For some ,people

money

does not matter at all, but in nowadays world, it is impossible to live without

money

. So, employees who enjoy their

job

, even if it has a small salary, should be ready to live close to the breadline.

Secondly

, it's not a surprise that people chase a good salary because it makes life more comfortable. Sometimes workers can go nuts in an attempt to have a bigger income.

For example

, they can even commit suicide because the

job

may have extreme tension for them, and they find suicide as the only way out. But it will not ever happen if you enjoy what you do. In a nutshell, it depends on what kind of person you are. If you are not really interested in salary and want to enjoy your life and

job

, enjoyable work would be a perfect choice. But as for me,

money

matters a lot, and I would

rather

Rephrase

apply

show examples

prefer high-paid employment because it allows bringing home the bacon and

also

can provide you with many different opportunities

such

as travelling.

Submitted by daniilvasilevski on Wed Apr 12 2023

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coherence cohesion

The introduction lacks a clear restatement of the question and does not effectively introduce the main points to be discussed in the essay. It is important to clearly paraphrase the prompt and provide a roadmap of the essay in the introduction.

task achievement

The essay addresses both views but the discussion does not effectively present a balanced argument. Additionally, the examples provided are not very specific and relevant to support the points. More specific and relevant examples are needed to support the ideas effectively.

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9Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

271 words

6.00

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 8.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

job satisfaction
fulfilled
motivated
emotional well-being
financial stability
societal status
financial security
career progression
productivity
creativity
innovative
compromise
basic needs
long-term happiness
personal values
life stage
financial independence
luxury
positive relationships
personal growth

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