Some people argue that it is more important to have an enjoyable job than earn a lots of money. Others disagree and think that good salary leads to better life. Discuuss both the views and give your opinion.

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While
some people say that it is far more important to have an enjoyable
job
, others disagree and think that a good income leads to a better life. It is quite a pressing question nowadays. I am going to discuss both views and give my opinion in
this
essay.
Firstly
, the matter of
money
is always important.
Moreover
, you cannot live without
money
because you will not be capable of paying for a living.
For instance
, If you work for free, you will not be able to pay for food, clothes and rent. For some ,people
money
does not matter at all, but in nowadays world, it is impossible to live without
money
. So, employees who enjoy their
job
, even if it has a small salary, should be ready to live close to the breadline.
Secondly
, it's not a surprise that people chase a good salary because it makes life more comfortable. Sometimes workers can go nuts in an attempt to have a bigger income.
For example
, they can even commit suicide because the
job
may have extreme tension for them, and they find suicide as the only way out. But it will not ever happen if you enjoy what you do. In a nutshell, it depends on what kind of person you are. If you are not really interested in salary and want to enjoy your life and
job
, enjoyable work would be a perfect choice. But as for me,
money
matters a lot, and I would
rather
Rephrase
apply
show examples
prefer high-paid employment because it allows bringing home the bacon and
also
can provide you with many different opportunities
such
as travelling.
Submitted by daniilvasilevski on

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coherence cohesion
The introduction lacks a clear restatement of the question and does not effectively introduce the main points to be discussed in the essay. It is important to clearly paraphrase the prompt and provide a roadmap of the essay in the introduction.
task achievement
The essay addresses both views but the discussion does not effectively present a balanced argument. Additionally, the examples provided are not very specific and relevant to support the points. More specific and relevant examples are needed to support the ideas effectively.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • job satisfaction
  • fulfilled
  • motivated
  • emotional well-being
  • financial stability
  • societal status
  • financial security
  • career progression
  • productivity
  • creativity
  • innovative
  • compromise
  • basic needs
  • long-term happiness
  • personal values
  • life stage
  • financial independence
  • luxury
  • positive relationships
  • personal growth
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