The maps below show an industrial area in the town of Norbiton, and planned future development of the site. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The maps below show an industrial area in the town of Norbiton, and planned future development of the site.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
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The maps show the Norbiton industrial area in present and a redevelopment in the future, which will be more residential and less industrial. Looking from an
overall
Linking Words
perspective, the first map
include
Change the verb form
includes
show examples
lots of Factories surrounding the roundabout and in the eastern line.
Also
Linking Words
, there is
Correct article usage
an a-road
show examples
a-road
Correct your spelling
a road
show examples
in the southern way connected to the highway.
Likewise
Linking Words
, farmland is just right to the river. In the future, they are
planned
Wrong verb form
planning
show examples
to construct more roads to connect the area to each other
esily
Correct your spelling
easily
,
such
Linking Words
as
Correct article usage
a a-street
show examples
a-street
Correct your spelling
a street
show examples
in the east with houses,
play ground
Correct your spelling
playground
show examples
and
Correct article usage
a school
show examples
school
Fix the agreement mistake
schools
show examples
at the end
Linking Words
.
In addition
Linking Words
, Some housing
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
planned to be built in the north and
north west
Correct your spelling
northwest
show examples
. More facilities will
be construct
Change the verb form
be constructed
show examples
such
Linking Words
as shops and
medical
Correct article usage
a medical
show examples
centre.
Also
Linking Words
, they are concerting to build a line in the north to connect the farmland and some houses with the zone behind the river.
As well as
Linking Words
another roundabout will
built
Change the verb form
be built
show examples
to the southern way from the large one.
Submitted by m.f0562173032 on

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "also, such".
Basic structure: Change the third paragraph.
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "show" in your introduction.
Vocabulary: Only 3 basic words for charts were used.
Vocabulary: The word "maps" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • industrial area
  • planned future development
  • factories
  • warehouses
  • railway line
  • shopping center
  • residential buildings
  • college
  • mixed-use zone
  • commercial
  • residential
  • educational
  • green spaces
  • pedestrian walkways
  • housing
  • community
  • retail services
  • revitalize
  • quality of life
  • vibrant
  • sustainable
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