Some people believe that the government should not spend money on international aid when they have their own disadvantaged people like homeless and unemployed. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some individuals suppose that the government should allocate financial resources to other impoverished

countries

Punctuation problem

countries,

show examples

while

Linking Words

others believe that it is of paramount importance to focus on solving their domestic issues. From my point of view, I strongly agree with the proposal of determining national priority on internal problems. On the one hand, it is undeniable that cross-border support is a symbol of humanity. Geographically, people are divided into different ethnicities

but

Punctuation problem

, but

show examples

by nature, it will be the core of connecting features among individuals.

Thus

Linking Words

, aiding the poor stems from the consciousness and heart of each resident and is not solely contingent on monetary contributions.

Not to mention

Linking Words

that helping other nations to encounter financial crises would eliminate the chances of illegal migration

which

Punctuation problem

, which

show examples

is detrimental to surrounding developed regions.

For example

Linking Words

, back to the COVID-19 pandemic, with assistance from the whole world related to

foods

Fix the agreement mistake

food

show examples

, vaccines,

...

Punctuation problem

apply

show examples

etc, leading to a sustainable society

as well as

Linking Words

expressing humanity among several nations.

Nevertheless

Linking Words

, I am of the opinion that concentrating on addressing domestic issues

such

Linking Words

as homelessness or unemployment should be of the utmost urgency in any country.

To begin

Linking Words

with, the financial fund from the government is regarded as a crucial means to reserve and maintain welfare schemes

as well as

Linking Words

social security. The smooth flow of how society works would generate a favourable environment for employment opportunities

which

Punctuation problem

, which

show examples

accordingly

Linking Words

increases the economic growth rate.

Furthermore

Linking Words

, employment prospects,

consequently

Linking Words

, generate more personal budgets which people can use to afford decent accommodation

decreasing

Punctuation problem

, decreasing

show examples

the homelessness rate. In conclusion,

although

Linking Words

transnational support should be executed as a gesture of humanity, I still believe that the government should put the goal of tackling internal issues in a country to be the top priority.

dangtranquoctrung01

Apr 13, 2023

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coherence and cohesion

Try to present your ideas more clearly. Make sure each paragraph focuses on one main point and is supported with examples.

task achievement

Make sure to give a more balanced view of both sides of the argument before stating your own opinion.

task achievement

You have good examples and reasons to support your opinions, which show clear understanding.

coherence and cohesion

Your essay has a clear structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

Summary
Restatement of thesis
Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

In conclusion
To conclude
To summarize
Finally
In a nutshell
In general

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12
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

289 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

allocating resources
social stability
economic growth
moral obligation
global responsibility
alleviate poverty
essential services
diplomatic relationships
economic interdependence
globalized world
stabilize foreign markets
trade relationships
global crises
balanced approach
pragmatic solution
immediate local needs
international obligations
global cooperation
soft power
international influence
diplomatic relations
strategically advantageous

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Some people believe that the government should not spend money on international aid when they have their own disadvantaged people like homeless and unemployed. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Include an introduction and conclusion

In the future ,we will havr more and more leisure time as machines replace many of the tasks we do at home amd at work.Discuss thr challenges and benefits this will bring

An increasing number of larger shopping areas, malls and department stores are leading to the decline of smaller corner shops. what are the advantages and disadvantages of shopping in larger shopping centers rather than smaller, more traditional shops?

In some countries university students live at home with their family while they study, whereas in other countries students attend university in another city. Do you think the benefits of living away from home during university outweigh the disadvantages?

Some people believe that getting a degree from university is the best way to guarantee a good job. Others believe that it would be better to go straight into work and get experience in stead. Discuss this both views and give your opinion

Unemployment is one of the most serious problem facing developed nations today. What are the advantages and disadvantages of reducing the working week to thirty-five hours?