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Writing Samples
Band 5

discuss advantages and disadvantages of on demand streaming services

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On-demand
Use synonyms
 streaming
services
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 have increased exponentially in the past few years. In the past, The only way to watch you're favourite
movies
Use synonyms
 and shows was if it was played on the television.
However
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, if we missed the time that it was being aired, we would have missed the show and there was no way to watch it until a recast. Nowadays with the help of streaming
services
Use synonyms
, we can watch all the shows and
movies
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 in our own free time. In
this
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 essay, I will be talking about the advantages and disadvantages of
on-demand
Use synonyms
 streaming
services
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.
Firstly
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, let's look at the advantages. One of the biggest advantages is the cost. Streaming
services
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has
Correct subject-verb agreement
have
show examples
 a lower cost as compared to cable prices.
For example
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, Netflix has a monthly subscription fee of $12 for a variety of
on-demand
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 shows and
movies
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 .
Whereas
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, cable prices could be a few hundred dollars but you would not be able to choose what shows and
movies
Use synonyms
 to watch.
Hence
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 streaming
services
Use synonyms
 have
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
more value for money than compared to cable prices.
On the other hand
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, one of the disadvantages of streaming
services
Use synonyms
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
show examples
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
show examples
,
they
Correct word choice
that they
show examples
 are not available in all locations. TV shows and
movies
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defer
Verb problem
differ
show examples
 from place to place and if one consumer wants to watch a certain movie, it might not be available in their region. An example of
this
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 would be, in Singapore, the Harry Potter
movies
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 are not available On Netflix yet they are available to the USA and the UK Netflix Users. In conclusion, there are both pros and cons when it comes to
on-demand
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services
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.
Although
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, the pros outweigh the cons significantly.

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task achievement
You need to ensure that the essay sufficiently covers all parts of the task. While your essay did provide some discussion on the topic, it lacked depth in terms of covering a wider range of advantages and disadvantages. To improve, consider discussing more facets of the topic, such as the implications for content creators, issues of digital rights, the impact on traditional television outlets, and the cultural implications of having access to a global content library. This will help your essay meet the requirements of a complete response to the task.
coherence cohesion
To improve coherence and cohesion, make sure you structure your essay clearly. Use paragraphs effectively to separate different ideas and ensure that there's a logical flow from one paragraph to the next. A suitable format might include an introduction, one or two paragraphs for advantages, one or two paragraphs for disadvantages, optionally a paragraph weighing these considerations, and then a conclusion. Transitions between paragraphs can also help with cohesion, so utilize connecting words or phrases to aid in the logical flow of the essay. Additionally, it's crucial to maintain the focus on the advantages and disadvantages throughout the essay without going off-topic.
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