IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Some people think that the best way to stay fit is to join a gym or a health club, while others think doing everyday activities such as walking and climbing stairs is sufficient. Discuss both view and give your opinion.

#people #gym #health #club #activities #stairs
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It is sometimes seen that magazines and journals are the best way in reading new
informations
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information
pieces of information
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,
whereas
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proponent
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proponents
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 of
other
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the other
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view
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views
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 suppose that there are other types of media,
such
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 as TV, radio or Internet sites, which would be more effective in getting the
news
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.
This
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 essay will elaborate
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this
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on this
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controversal
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controversial
 issue and
discribe
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describe
 why I tend to agree with the latter view. On the one hand, a couple of decades ago newspapers are considered
as
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apply
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a
Correct article usage
the
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 main source of information, because not any person could afford a radio.
Subsequently
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, the majority of people in developing countries every day tried to purchase their national magazines in order to be aware of
Correct article usage
the curcumstances
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curcumstances
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circumstances
 of their country and to know the worldwide
news
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.
For instance
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, in 1913
kazakh
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Kazakh
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 people were able to read the latest
news
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 only through the newspaper called ‘Kazakh’, written by the members of
‘Alash
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the ‘Alash
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 Orda’ organization.
On the other hand
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, implying the development of new technologies, it is a waste of time to read
a long listed articles
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a long listed article
long listed articles
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on
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in
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 the newspapers,
whereas
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instead
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 of
this
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 it is
posible
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possible
 to get the latest info through websites in a minute. It is undeniable fact that
,
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apply
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 the
news
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 on that Internet portals renew every second and people can look through them
walking
Correct word choice
while walking
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, listening to music or even working (during
the
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apply
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lunch time
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lunchtime
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).
Therefore
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,
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a human
the human
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human
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humans
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 can save
its
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apply
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time and apart from that, it is well-known that papers of
the
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apply
show examples
newspapers are
in
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apply
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a risk of putting through bad weather conditions.
For example
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,
due to
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 rain papers might be torn.
To sum up
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, it cannot be denied that
newspapes
Correct your spelling
newspapers
 are one of the mass-media sources
in
Change preposition
for
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 getting
an information
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information
a piece of information
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, but these days it is easier and faster to read the
news
Use synonyms
 on websites.
Submitted by azatorazalin on

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • cardiovascular health
  • resistance training
  • physical endurance
  • muscle tone
  • caloric expenditure
  • sedentary lifestyle
  • motivational factor
  • fitness regimen
  • holistic health
  • sustainable exercise habit
  • metabolic rate
  • physical exertion
  • exercise consistency
  • health maintenance
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