Some people think nations and individuals should focus on their own personal problems rather than global ones. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Nowadays, it is sometimes thought that countries and humans ought to focus on global

problems

Use synonyms

while

Linking Words

other

people

Use synonyms

believe that the focus should be on personal

problems

Use synonyms

. In my opinion, I totally agree with that folks should

be concentrate

Change the verb form

be concentrating

be concentrated

show examples

on their own difficulties rather than global issues.

Firstly

Linking Words

, I would like to

make

Verb problem

apply

show examples

concentrate on one problem

that is

Linking Words

not focused.

From

Change preposition

For

show examples

Linking Words

last

Change the article

the last

show examples

couple of years, students

are

Wrong verb form

have been

show examples

going

Change preposition

apply

show examples

abroad for higher education and for better

carrer

Correct your spelling

career

growth. The reason why pupils are migrating to another country is that it

feels

Verb problem

gives

show examples

them a chance to improve themselves.

For instance

Linking Words

, the

indian

Change the capitalization

Indian

show examples

people

Use synonyms

are still going to

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

Canada or the

U.S

Correct your spelling

U.S.

for higher education. So,

according to

Linking Words

me, if

country

Correct article usage

a country

show examples

improve

Change the verb form

improves

show examples

their education system

then

Linking Words

it might be possible that students will enjoy

to learn

Change the verb form

learning

show examples

more and

earn

Wrong verb form

earning

show examples

more in their own country.

Secondly

Linking Words

, another point to

be consider

Change the verb form

be considered

show examples

is that individuals have

same

Add an article

the same

show examples

thought

Fix the agreement mistake

thoughts

show examples

as nations.

People

Use synonyms

always talk about their neighbourhood's

problem

Fix the agreement mistake

problems

show examples

and give them

a free solutions

Correct the article-noun agreement

free solutions

a free solution

show examples

without thinking

whether

Change preposition

about whether

show examples

was

Wrong verb form

show examples

right or wrong. During

this

Linking Words

, they can not figure out

problems

Use synonyms

that are

happened

Wrong verb form

happening

show examples

in their own home.

For example

Linking Words

, some families always try to make happy to their neighbourhood and at the same

time

Add a comma

time,

show examples

their child is becoming far from them because they

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

feel alone.

Hence

Linking Words

, I think that if families are staying

together

Linking Words

with

Change preposition

apply

show examples

happily

than

Correct your spelling

then

show examples

little younger are not becoming alone. In conclusion, today's community and generations are less concentrating on their own issues, and they are talking about solutions

Change preposition

show examples

other

problems

Use synonyms

Accroding

Correct your spelling

According

to me,

people

Use synonyms

and local regions first focus on personal

problems

Use synonyms

and think

how

Change preposition

about how

show examples

to solve them.

writing7Thu Apr 13 2023

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task achievement

Improve the clarity of your ideas and the development of your main points. Ensure that each point you make clearly supports your overall argument.

coherence and cohesion

Work on sentence structure and grammatical accuracy. There are several instances of awkward phrasing and grammatical errors that can distract the reader.

task achievement

Provide stronger examples to support your claims and ensure that all parts of your argument are well-explained.

task achievement

Your essay presents a clear opinion on the issue, making it easy for the reader to understand your viewpoint.

coherence and cohesion

You have attempted to address both personal and global problems, which shows an awareness of the complexity of the topic.

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12
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
30
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

281 words

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Some people think nations and individuals should focus on their own personal problems rather than global ones. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

In many countries governments are investigating in new technology to deal with the public. Why is this happening? Do you think is an appropriate use of government money?

Many employees can now do their work from home using modern technology. However, this change may only benefit workers, not the employers. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some people think that the teenage years are the happiest time of most people’s lives. Others think that adult life brings more happiness, in spite of greater responsibility. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Some university students want to learn about other subjects in addition to their main subjects. Others believe it is more important to give all their time and attention to studying for a qualification. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

The percentage of overweight children in western society has increased by almost 20% in the last ten years. Discuss the causes and effects of this disturbing trend.”