the pie charts below show the devices that people in the 18 to 25 age group use to watch television in canada in two different years.

#show #devices #people #age #group #television #canada #two #years

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The two pie

carts

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charts

show examples

compare the percentages of different

kind

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kinds

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of devices used for watching

Use synonyms

Canata

Correct your spelling

Canada

in the

the

Remove the redundancy

apply

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tho

Correct your spelling

two

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years, 2009 and 2019 by certain age

group

Fix the agreement mistake

groups

show examples

Overall

Linking Words

, it can be seen that the usage of conventional

Use synonyms

sighnificantly

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significantly

dropped,

while

Linking Words

tablet and flat-screen

Use synonyms

increased during the 10 years period.

To begin

Linking Words

with, in 2009 conventional

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was

Unnecessary verb

apply

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accounted for 34%, which made it the biggest sector. Desktop

computer

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computers

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and

laptop

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laptops

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also

Linking Words

represented

majority

Add an article

the majority

a majority

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devises

Replace the word

devices

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used with 18% and 20% respectively. In terms of

Fix the agreement mistake

tablets

show examples

tablet

Add a comma

,tablet

show examples

it was the least in amount with only 5%,

as well as

Linking Words

flat-screen

Use synonyms

which was with only 3% more. In 2019, surprisingly, conventional

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suffers

Correct article usage

an extereme

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extereme

Correct your spelling

extreme

decrease and it

was

Unnecessary verb

apply

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accounted only for 4%, making it the smallest proportion. During the same

period

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,period

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the number of flat-screen

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Change to a plural noun

tvs

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went from just 8% to 27% and mobile

phone

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phones

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also

Linking Words

saw a big rise in 2019

represented

Wrong verb form

representing

show examples

26% of total usage. Desktop

computer

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computers

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and

laptop

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laptops

show examples

changed slightly, but both of them dropped

with

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show examples

6% and 8% respectively.

Submitted by elitsankova2005 on Thu Apr 13 2023

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "also".

▼

Introduction: The introduction is missing.

▼

Introduction: The chart intro is missing.

▼

Introduction: The chart intro is missing.

▼

Vocabulary: Replace the words tv with synonyms.

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Vocabulary: The word "represented" was used 2 times.

▼

5
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
24
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Introduction & conclusion present

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

3 paragraphs

176 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

pie charts
18 to 25 age group
devices
watch television
Canada
comparison
shift
preferences
mobile devices
traditional televisions
technological advancements
television viewing habits

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the pie charts below show the devices that people in the 18 to 25 age group use to watch television in canada in two different years.

A government's role is only to provide defense capability and urban infrastructure, such as roads, water and power. All other services, such as education, health and social security, should be provided by private groups or individuals in the community. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Many offenders commit more crimes after serving their first punishment. Why is this happening, and what measures can be taken to tackle this problem.

Many people support use of animals for testing medicines for humans. Others believe it isn’t appropriate to use animals for such experiments. Discuss both views and give your own opinion

children who are brought up in families that do not have large amounts of money are better prepared to deal with the problems of adult life than children brought up by wealthy parents. to what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

You are going abroad on holiday and your friend will stay in your home while you are away. Write a letter to your friend, in your letter - explain where you hide the keys - describe what your friend needs to do in your absent - say when you are coming back