the pie charts below show the devices that people in the 18 to 25 age group use to watch television in canada in two different years.

#show #devices #people #age #group #television #canada #two #years

The two pie

carts

Correct your spelling

charts

show examples

compare the percentages of different

kind

Fix the agreement mistake

kinds

show examples

of devices used for watching

Canata

Correct your spelling

Canada

in the

the

Remove the redundancy

apply

show examples

tho

Correct your spelling

two

show examples

years, 2009 and 2019 by certain age

group

Fix the agreement mistake

groups

show examples

Overall

, it can be seen that the usage of conventional

sighnificantly

Correct your spelling

significantly

dropped,

while

tablet and flat-screen

increased during the 10 years period.

To begin

with, in 2009 conventional

was

Unnecessary verb

apply

show examples

accounted for 34%, which made it the biggest sector. Desktop

computer

Fix the agreement mistake

computers

show examples

and

laptop

Fix the agreement mistake

laptops

show examples

also

represented

majority

Add an article

the majority

a majority

show examples

devises

Replace the word

devices

show examples

used with 18% and 20% respectively. In terms of

Fix the agreement mistake

tablets

show examples

tablet

Add a comma

,tablet

show examples

it was the least in amount with only 5%,

as well as

flat-screen

which was with only 3% more. In 2019, surprisingly, conventional

suffers

Correct article usage

an extereme

show examples

extereme

Correct your spelling

extreme

decrease and it

was

Unnecessary verb

apply

show examples

accounted only for 4%, making it the smallest proportion. During the same

period

Add a comma

,period

show examples

the number of flat-screen

Change to a plural noun

tvs

show examples

went from just 8% to 27% and mobile

phone

Fix the agreement mistake

phones

show examples

also

saw a big rise in 2019

represented

Wrong verb form

representing

show examples

26% of total usage. Desktop

computer

Fix the agreement mistake

computers

show examples

and

laptop

Fix the agreement mistake

laptops

show examples

changed slightly, but both of them dropped

with

Change preposition

show examples

6% and 8% respectively.

Submitted by elitsankova2005 on Thu Apr 13 2023

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "also".

▼

Introduction: The introduction is missing.

▼

Introduction: The chart intro is missing.

▼

Introduction: The chart intro is missing.

▼

Vocabulary: Replace the words tv with synonyms.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "represented" was used 2 times.

▼

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!

Do you want to check your IELTS essays?

Submit unlimited essays, letters and charts. Sign up right now and start improving your writing skills.

5Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
24Grammar mistakes
 

3 paragraphs

176 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Introduction & conclusion present

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

Topic Vocabulary:

pie charts
18 to 25 age group
devices
watch television
Canada
comparison
shift
preferences
mobile devices
traditional televisions
technological advancements
television viewing habits

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

5.5
band
“Nowadays children are undisciplined because their parents are busy with their career.” To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion? What could parents do to build a sense of discipline among children?
Undoubtedly, children are tender buds of society and they are required to be taught the true values of life by their parents. Nevertheless, due to the impact of the busy lifestyle of the modern era where mostly mother and father both are working for their lifepaths, offsprings are becoming undisciplined. I personally have the same viewpoint and will further elaborate on solutions for parents to get rid of this trouble.
4.5
band
The housing shortage today in big cities can have severe social consequences. Many people think that only government actions can solve this problem. To what extent do you agree or disagree.
Nowadays many industries and companies are establishing in urban areas so many people are shifting to there from their hometown for job finding. This can create accommodation scarcity and huge impact in social life. Most of the aspirants are thinking government should interfere and fix this issue. I fully support this statement by giving the below mentioned points.
5
band
Some students prefer to take a gap year between high school and university, to work or to travel. Do the advantages of this outweight the disavantages?
Nowadays,It is becoming more and more popular for students to take a vacation between secondary school and university,to do business or to travel.It is believed that most students tend to take a year holiday for personal actions.It is obvious,there are a lot of advantages and disadvantages of taking a gap year between high school and university.In this essay,I will address some merits and demerits of making this decision between two academic courses and also I will draw my conclusion.
4.5
band
One of your friends wants to apply for a job at a summer school camp as a sports trainer. Write a letter to the camp manager to recommend your friend. In your letter: • say how well you know your friend • describe the qualifications and experience that your friend has • explain why your friend would be suitable for this job.
Dear Sir or Madam ,
7
band
Some Countries have implemented mandatory community programs for young people. In these programs, children aged 16 to 18 do charity work, help old people or work with animals. What are some advantages and disadvantages for this for young people?
On a large scale , charity works are great for all ages and situations .

the pie charts below show the devices that people in the 18 to 25 age group use to watch television in canada in two different years.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

“Nowadays children are undisciplined because their parents are busy with their career.” To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion? What could parents do to build a sense of discipline among children?

The housing shortage today in big cities can have severe social consequences. Many people think that only government actions can solve this problem. To what extent do you agree or disagree.

Some students prefer to take a gap year between high school and university, to work or to travel. Do the advantages of this outweight the disavantages?

Some Countries have implemented mandatory community programs for young people. In these programs, children aged 16 to 18 do charity work, help old people or work with animals. What are some advantages and disadvantages for this for young people?