IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 4

Big salary is much more important than job satisfaction. Do you agree or disagree?

#salary #job #satisfaction
Huge
Correct article usage
A huge
show examples
salary
 is much more significant than
work
 satisfaction.
Yes
Add the punctuation
,Yes
show examples
 I agree with
this
 thought.Because for
people
 it is
motivation
 The first reason to mention is that many
people
work
 for money.Because
if
Correct your spelling
it
show examples
 will be big
salary
people
maybe
Correct your spelling
may be
show examples
 better in my profession.They have
motivation
Change the article
the motivation
show examples
 to do everything for the good of
yor
Correct your spelling
your
work
. To put it
differently
Add a comma
,differently
show examples
 if you will have a small
salary
 you will only think about the weekend someday and you will not have prospects.
For
example
Add a comma
,example
show examples
 let
is
Correct your spelling
us
show examples
 take
USA
Correct article usage
the USA
show examples
this
country
 have big
salary
 all profession and
this
Change the determiner
this person
these people
show examples
people
 always have
motivation
Change the article
the motivation
show examples
 to
work
 well and
comparative
Replace the word
comparison
show examples
 Russian
federation
Correct your spelling
Federation
show examples
 in
this
country
 have
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
small
salary
 which impact
for
Change preposition
apply
show examples
people
which
Correct pronoun usage
who
show examples
life
Replace the word
live
show examples
 in
this
country
.
People
 in
this
country
 don’t have
motivation
Add an article
the motivation
a motivation
show examples
 that good
work
 and good life and
people
this
Change preposition
in this
show examples
country
 take bribes and it
is very impact
Change the verb form
very impacts
show examples
 on
a
Correct article usage
the
show examples
country
.Everything will get worse in all areas. The second cause to be pointed out is that
many
Change preposition
in many
show examples
system
Change to a plural noun
systems
show examples
 in the world if will be big
salary
Fix the agreement mistake
salaries
show examples
people
 become happy and will rise
GDP
Correct pronoun usage
their GDP
show examples
.IF
person
Correct article usage
a person
show examples
have
Change the verb form
has
show examples
big
Correct article usage
a big
show examples
salary
 he will
tries
Change the verb form
try
show examples
 his best.To put it
differntlu
Correct your spelling
differently
 if will be small
salary
people
 will be angry and do all sorts of
ralies
Correct your spelling
rallies
 and can lead
bad
Change preposition
to bad
show examples
 consequences.
For example
 CIS
country
almost
Add a missing verb
is almost
show examples
 poor.Because
people
 have a small
salary
 And
this worker
Fix the agreement mistake
These workers
show examples
 will be bad and take
bribe
Fix the agreement mistake
bribes
show examples
 and
country
Add an article
the country
show examples
 became bad
this
 system
very
Add a missing verb
is very
show examples
 bad IN
THIS
 CIS and now Europe
country
 they have
other system
Change the wording
another system
other systems
show examples
 than
people
 worked for job.Because have a big
salary
 which makes you better. Of
course
Add a comma
,course
show examples
 these examples may not represent all cases.On balance,
however
,I tend to believe if have
big
Correct article usage
a big
show examples
salary
 you will be better in
this
 job
have
Correct word choice
and have
show examples
motivation
 which
help
Change the verb form
helps
show examples
 you and many
people
 worked for money because it is
Correct your spelling
necessary
nessecary
Correct your spelling
necessary
 for
people
Submitted by azatorazalin on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • remuneration
  • financial security
  • motivation
  • luxuries
  • material possessions
  • fulfillment
  • work-life balance
  • stress levels
  • mental well-being
  • job security
What to do next:
Look at other essays: