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Band 2.5

Some people believe that the only important thing in life is his or her work. Without a successful career, life is meaningless. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #life #work #career
A successful career plays a major role in
people
's
life
. In my opinion,
life
 has no purpose without
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
promising
work
however
, there are other things in
life
 that are considered to be important.
for instance
, spending quality
time
 with family.
Firstly
, paid jobs are crucial as they provide salaries and wages to
people
. Monetary rewards are necessary for the smooth running of a household.
Moreover
,a good job can help individuals in earning more
money
.
Thus
,
people
 need not
to
Remove the word
apply
show examples
worry much
on
Change preposition
about
show examples
 where to find
money
Add an article
the money
show examples
 for
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
day-to day
Add a hyphen
day-to-day
show examples
 expenses.
In addition
, the latter seek and
work
 towards a
promissing
Correct your spelling
promising
 career path.
Furthermore
, a great job enhances the reputation of an individual in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
society.
On the contrary
,
work
 is not always the first priority for some individuals. They think that spending
time
 with their families and devoting
time
on
Change preposition
to
show examples
 themselves are more beneficial compared to chasing successful careers. To add on,
work
 can convert humans into slaves for
the
Change the word
their
show examples
 whole
life
.
People
 need
money
 and they will never stop
to
Change the verb form
working
show examples
work
.
Subsequently
, they do not have enough
time
 to spend with their families.
As a result
, relationships can deteriorate over
time
. In a nutshell,
work
 is predominantly a crucial factor in
human's
Change noun form
human
show examples
life
 as it helps in earning
money
 , but it is advisable to create and maintain a balance between family and
work
.
Submitted by amandachokupermal on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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