Some people think that young people should follow the traditions of the society. Others think young people are free to behave as individuals. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Some
people
reckon that
children
should obey the heritage of the social
community
. Other
community
Change the wording
communities
show examples
think
children
might be unconventional. In
this
essay, I will discuss
this
issue and provide my personal insights. On the one hand, there is no doubt that young
people
should observe the traditions of the nation. Because the attitude of the uniqueness of each country may show their identity. The younger might have been learning
community
spirit and
community
fellowship and stability by obeying their culture.
Furthermore
, the gap in thinking between the old generations and the younger generations will be closed by following the tradition of succession.
For example
, many
people
who believe in Christianity gather at Christmas. Because of that kind of tradition, they feel connected and close. For these reasons,
children
should comply with the custom of society.
On the other hand
, there is no doubt that younger should be free to act on their own.
This
is because
children
’s right to opportunity should be a priority in their life. If they were given the right to behave freely, they might be improved their creativity
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
and imagination.
Furthermore
, the youth should learn how to enjoy their ability and be responsible for how they act.
For example
, many young
people
tend to go abroad to study in another country. They should pay attention to choose the choice responsibly.
Hence
children
put more weight on freedom than the traditions In conclusion,
children
should have a right sense of values by inheriting tradition. Good traditions might play a bridging role between
children
and old
people
. But they can enhance their creativity and imagination through freedom.
nevertheless
Add a comma
,nevertheless
show examples
children
should know to have responsibility.
Submitted by isacckira on

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Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

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