Some suggest that young people should take a job for a few years between school and university. Discuss what the advantages and disadvantages might be for people who do this.
It is a long-standing point of controversy whether young
people
should gain experience
or knowledge first. Many people
often say that young people
should take a job
for a few years between school
and university
, in my opinion, this
suggestion has positive and negative aspects, a few of which will be discussed in this
essay.
On the one hand, the harmful effects of having a job
between high school
and university
is that it will make you unable to focus on your studies because working and studying at the same time
can cause your academic results to drop. In addition
, it can also
cause your health to decline because when you study and work
too much, you will not have enough time
to rest, causing your body to gradually become tired. And when they feel like they’re earning money
like that, for some people
they will have the thought “Oh I’ve earned money
, why is it so easy?” That’s why they prioritize their work
and neglecting studies leads to poor results and leads to quitting school
to go to work
. Apart from the fact that this
could tempt them to shift their central focus to working, to the detriment of their educational process, going to work
at a young age as well as
not having enough experience
will make students more likely to encounter bad people
and be easily deceived such
as being cheated of money
or being tricked into illegal acts
However
, there are some benefits of taking a job
for a few years between school
and university
. Gap years, in the first place, provide them with sufficient amounts of time
to take their process of orientation into account before making the ultimate decision on which major they need to get into at college. (In other words
, this
prevents you from getting into situations where you are stuck between the rock and the hard place, feeling like you’ve come too far to turn back, but the end is not yet in sight and the success appears to be by far exclusive.) Clearly, working is also
considered a good thing because it can help you gain more experience
in life, and at the same time
, working can give you money
and you can use that money
to help your parents too. When we go to work
, we will gain a lot of experience
from our work
, and from there we can learn valuable lessons for ourselves. If they soon figure out the mismatch between them and their current place of employment, they might think about switching jobs with the belief that walking away from opportunities that don't align with his/ her true selves and toward those that allow being authentically themselves at work
in the future. Not only that, but working part-time
will help you create new relationships with business owners, managers, colleagues, and even the customers you serve. These relationships will bring you many unexpected health benefits such
as better job
opportunities, help with studying in or out of school
, trust, and help when you need it.
In conclusion, I find that part-time
jobs between the
high Correct article usage
apply
school
, and the university
are a good thing, but for good people
, those who know how to arrange a reasonable time
between studying and working. Those who are aware of their weaknesses will focus and study diligently for the sake of related improvement, making sure that they can become better because the path to success is the path of learning.Submitted by jakelong16091994 on
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coherence cohesion
The essay addresses the topic but does not consistently maintain the reader's interest. The introduction and conclusion are present, but the development of main points lacks specific examples and the argument could be more persuasive with a variety of sentence structures and coherence markers.
task achievement
The essay attempts to discuss the advantages and disadvantages as requested, but ideas are not fully developed, with some repetition and lack of clear, comprehensive support for each point. To improve, ensure all parts of the task are answered fully and expand on each idea with deeper analysis and more relevant examples.
Word Count
IELTS says that you should write a minimum of 250 words in writing task 2. If you go under word count you will lose marks in task response.
A very long essay will not give you a higher band score.
Aim for between 260 to 290 words in writing task 2. This will ensure a concise essay and will be realistic in terms of time management. You have only 40 minutes to write the essay and you need around 10 minutes of planning time, so you will not be able to write a long essay in 30 minutes.
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