The diagram below show the production and processing of milk and dairy products for commercial sale

The diagram below show the production and processing of milk and dairy products for commercial sale
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The diagram details the process by which
milk
Use synonyms
production by cows and dairy products production by factories for commercial sale.
Overall
Linking Words
, it consists of 3 stages; grazing and milking, storage and delivery, and dairy production. It begins or commences with feeding the cows with healthy grass,
therefore
Linking Words
,those animals could produce
the
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milk
Use synonyms
of good quality.
Second,
Linking Words
the
milk
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will be produced from cows using milking machines twice a day. After that, all yield will save in refrigeration storage. Next step, fresh
milk
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will be delivered to the dairy using a
milk
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tanker. In the
,
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factory fresh
milk
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will be pasteurized and packaged.
In addition
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, other fresh
milk
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will be converted into other products
such
Linking Words
as cheese, cream and butter.
Finally
Linking Words
, all products will send to markets and shops.
Submitted by ieltscuns2022 on

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Introduction: The introduction is missing.
Introduction: Change the first sentence in the introduction.
Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.
Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
Basic structure: Write more paragraphs.
Basic structure: Add more body paragraphs.
Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
Basic structure: Write more paragraphs.
Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 70%.
Vocabulary: Replace the words milk with synonyms.
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.
Vocabulary: Only 1 basic words for charts were used.
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
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