In some countries, owning a home rather than renting one is very important for people. Why might this be the case? Do you think this is a positive or negative situation?

Nowadays, many
people
prefer to buy their own house
instead
of renting others’. They will feel more relaxed and free in their own
houses
although
they probably need to bear the mortgage burden. There are major two reasons for
this
case. On one hand,
people
feel more safe and
relaxed
Correct quantifier usage
more relaxed
show examples
in their
houses
. They can furnish and decorate the
houses
whatever
Change preposition
in whatever
show examples
they like and they need not
to
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apply
show examples
worry about that one day they have to move out suddenly because of the landlord’s emergent cases.
Therefor
Correct your spelling
Therefore
show examples
,
own
Wrong verb form
owning
show examples
houses
can give
people
more control
about
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over
show examples
their life.
On the other hand
, buying
houses
can promote
people
to struggle hard and save money.
Besides
, the prices of
houses
in many countries keep rising in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
recent years. Many
people
’s assets have
been
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
increased because of the booming of the real estate industry .
However
,
people
who pay
rents
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rent
show examples
to live can not enjoy the benefits from the value increase of
houses
.
However
, as we all know, now the housing price has increased to a very high level in many countries. And
generally
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,generally
show examples
people
’s salary hasn’t been improved
with
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at
show examples
the same rate. Most
people
can just
can
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apply
show examples
afford to pay the down payment and need to apply for loans from banks for the rest housing payments.
Usually
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,Usually
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the load period can be ten to thirty years. The loans will put a lot of stress on
people
and sometimes
it
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they
show examples
can have an adverse impact on their mental health.
By
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In
show examples
summary, buying
own
Correct pronoun usage
their own
show examples
houses
Fix the agreement mistake
house
show examples
may bring out
many
Replace the quantifier
much
show examples
pressure, but it can stimulate
people
to work harder to create a better life. When they are living in their own
houses
,
people
can obtain a more safe and
comfortable
Correct quantifier usage
more comfortable
show examples
life.
Submitted by 15280151 on

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    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
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    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
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  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • ownership
  • renting
  • importance
  • sense of security
  • stability
  • financial investment
  • asset
  • customize
  • decorate
  • belonging
  • community
  • potential
  • future generations
  • long-term
  • cost advantage
  • control
  • living space
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