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Writing Samples
Band 5

In many countries around the world young people decide to leave their parents’ home once they finish school. They start living on their own or sharing a home with friends. Is this a positive or a negative development? Give reasons for your answer and include relevant examples

#countries #world #people #parents’ #home #school #friends #development
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Today,
a
Change preposition
in a
show examples
lot
Use synonyms
 of countries around the world young
people
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dicede
Correct your spelling
decide
 to leave their
parents
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parent's
parents'
show examples
home
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 once they finish school.They start living on their own or sharing a
home
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 with friends.I think
this
Linking Words
 is a
benefit
Replace the word
beneficial
show examples
 development.So
this
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 essay will show you give reasons for my answer and include relevant examples. On the one hand,there are several reasons why I think
this
Linking Words
 is a positive development.The most main reason is that young
peopole
Correct your spelling
people
 can get a
lot
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 of skills if they leave their parent's
house
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 because when they stay
parent's
Fix the agreement mistake
parents'
show examples
home
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, parents are doing
someting
Correct your spelling
something
 for
children
Correct pronoun usage
their children
show examples
.
Such
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 as
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
cooking,
clear
Replace the word
clearing
show examples
room
Correct article usage
the room
show examples
,take care
when
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of when
show examples
 they take ill.So young
people
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 help by their parents,but if younger living alone,they should do anything by
thirself
Correct your spelling
herself
himself
.
For example
Linking Words
,making food,
clearning
Correct your spelling
cleaning
clearing
room
Correct article usage
the room
show examples
 and
shucdule
Correct your spelling
schedule
 of
money
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.So young
people
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 get a
lot
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 of skills that we need in life.
Secondly
Linking Words
,we can get a
lot
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 of
infomartion
Correct your spelling
information
 if they start sharing a
home
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.Because
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
we
have
Add the particle
tohave
show examples
 think of how to use
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house
Add an article
the house
a house
show examples
,
house
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 rules each other,so sharing a
home
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 is the best
one
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
way we can get information that we are different thinking of each other.In
adition
Correct your spelling
addition
, we can know
friend
Add an article
a friend
show examples
 is very important
for
Change preposition
in
show examples
 our life because we can help each other so easily if sharing a
home
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.The third benefit is that we do not need a
lot
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 of
money
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 if we are sharing a
home
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.Yung
people
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 do not have a
lot
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 of
money
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 and they are so difficult to buy a
house
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 or rent a
house
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,
Linking Words
however
Add a comma
,however
show examples
 they can
spent
Change the verb form
spend
show examples
Use synonyms
money
Correct quantifier usage
more money
show examples
cheper
Correct your spelling
cheaper
 than
buy
Wrong verb form
buying
show examples
 a
house
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 alone if sharing a
home
Use synonyms
. In conclusion,young
pepole
Correct your spelling
people
 should
living
Change the verb form
live
be living
show examples
 on their own or
sharing
Change the verb form
share
be sharing
show examples
 a
home
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 because they can get a
lot
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 of skills and we can learn about
socity
Correct your spelling
society
.I hope in the
futer
Correct your spelling
future
 more and more
people
Use synonyms
 living alone or sharing a
home
Use synonyms
.
Submitted by hatsudaya706 on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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