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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The charts show the distribution of the world’s water and use of water in three countries.

The charts show the distribution of the world’s water and use of water in three countries.
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The pie charts illustrate the sorts of the world’s
water
Use synonyms
while
Linking Words
 the bar chart shows the consumption of
water
Use synonyms
 in three countries.
Overall
Linking Words
, all
water
Use synonyms
 separates into two main sorts
as well as
Linking Words
 freshwater accounts for three kinds of
water
Use synonyms
.
Additionally
Linking Words
, the large use of
water
Use synonyms
 in order to Agriculture in Saudi Arabia, and Egypt.
In contrast
Linking Words
, Canada shares the
water
Use synonyms
 with Industry development. With regard distribution of the world’s
water
Use synonyms
, all
water
Use synonyms
 is sorted by fresh and salt
water
Use synonyms
 (3% and 97%, respectively).
Furthermore
Linking Words
, freshwater consists of Ground a fifth
whereas
Linking Words
 Ice and Gladers exactly 79%.
Conversely
Linking Words
, surface
water
Use synonyms
 institute a mere 1%. Agriculture consumption of
water
Use synonyms
 both over 75% in Saudi Arabia and Egypt
while
Linking Words
 Canada allocated 10%.
In contrast
Linking Words
, Canada which is high usage of
water
Use synonyms
 in order for industry, meanwhile, the other two nations both have under 10%.
Nonetheless
Linking Words
, the domestic proportion of
water
Use synonyms
 is above 10% in all countries.

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "in contrast, while".
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Basic structure: Change the third paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 75%.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words water with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: Only 4 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: The word "charts" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.
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