some think the subject of music is not neccesary in primary school, and other practical subjects like science should replace it. what is your opinion?

#think #music #neccesary #school #subjects #science

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It is generally acknowledged that practical

subjects

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such

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science

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are more essential than a

music

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class in primary school. In my opinion, even if

science

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is a useful lesson, creative classes like

music

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should not be taken out of an education system. First of all, today's scientific theories are applied in multiple sectors and

this

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area of education is absolutely versatile. If

children

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can obtain in-depth knowledge and vast branches of

science

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, they will have vantages to choose their expertise in the future.

For example

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, knowing physics can offer jobs related to the field of technology or machine makers, understanding chemistry can solve pollutants and toxicity issues, and many more.

In addition

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, the principle of

science

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study strengthens pupils' systematic thinking and management.

On the other hand

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, academic knowledge only cannot develop the improvement of students.

In other words

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, elective

subjects

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such

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music

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or art will fulfil their satisfactory learning.

Thus

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, the

subjects

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that encourage

children

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to have both creativity and expression are crucial and necessary. I strongly believe that these skills will help them relax and understand how to release their anxiety.

For example

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, if

children

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are struggled with maths assignments

due to

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the pressure and they are able to play their favourite song in a

music

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room during break time, after that they tend to do the assignment better. In view of the fact that their relaxed brain allows more dopamines to activate thinking function smoother.

To conclude

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, it is undeniable that adults prefer their

children

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to learn academic content

such

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as physics or chemistry rather than elective

subjects

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like art or

music

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Nonetheless

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, I firmly support that personal skills learned from

such

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music

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class are significant,

as well as

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practical skills learned from academic

subjects

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Submitted by pookiekw1997 on Fri Apr 14 2023

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11
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

291 words

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some think the subject of music is not neccesary in primary school, and other practical subjects like science should replace it. what is your opinion?

In some countries, it is possible for people to have a variety of food that has been transported from all over the world. Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

In some areas of the US, a 'curfew' is imposed, in which teenagers are not be allowed to be out fo doors after a particular time at night unless they are accompanied by an adult. What is your opinion about this?

There are many advertisements directed at children, such as snacks, toys, and other goods. Parents argue that children are under pressure. Advertisers claim that advertisements provide useful information. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Multinational companies are becoming increasingly common in developing countries. What are the advantages and disadvantages of this?