some think the subject of music is not neccesary in primary school, and other practical subjects like science should replace it. what is your opinion?

#think #music #neccesary #school #subjects #science

Some people believe that

music

education is essential in primary schools

while

others say that it should be changed

other

Change preposition

to other

show examples

practical

classes

. In

this

essay, I will compare these perspectives with reasons and examples. The people who argue that

subject

Correct article usage

the subject

show examples

music

unneccesary

Correct your spelling

unnecessary

insist that those

subjects

are more effective than

music

classes

. They focus on the abilities which can learn in other

classes

For example

, math and science

classes

let children improve their logical thinking structure and the knowledge from those

subjects

might be used in our lives directly.

Therefore

, some people claim that the

proprotion

Correct your spelling

proportion

allocated by

music

classes

should be decreased to increase other useful

subjects

Although

other

subejcts

Correct your spelling

subjects

have more advantages than

music

, it should not be ignored.

Music

training involves different kinds

benefits

Change preposition

of benefits

show examples

which can not

Add a missing verb

be deveolped

show examples

deveolped

Correct your spelling

developed

mathmetics

Correct your spelling

mathematics

and science education. In fact,

music

can develop children's

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

sense of creativity, and children can ease their stress from that.

For instance

, students can make melodies and

lylics

Correct your spelling

lyrics

and sing what they created in a

music

class. They can come up with new breaking ideas and enjoy

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

singing with colleagues together, dealing with the given tasks in the class. These results can not be caused

from

Change preposition

show examples

other logical

subjects

. In conclusion, there are comparative

duscussion

Correct your spelling

discussion

on the importance of

music

education. In my opinion,

music

classes

have

it's

Correct your spelling

their

show examples

own beneficial aspects.

Thus

, schools do not have to replace it.

Submitted by jjhtoki on Fri Apr 14 2023

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7Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
15Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

236 words

5.00

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 9.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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some think the subject of music is not neccesary in primary school, and other practical subjects like science should replace it. what is your opinion?

Word Count

Children do not respect their parents as much as they did in the past. This behaviour is now having a negative impact on society. Discuss

In some countries, more and more people are becoming interested in finding out about the history of the house or building they live in. What are the reasons for this? How can people research this? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Many historical sites and museums are mainly visited by tourists, not local people. Why is this the case? What can be done to attract local people to visit this historical sites and museums?

In many cities, planners tend to arrange shops, schools, offices and homes in specific areas and separate them from each other. Do you think the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

The governments shoild give each citizen a basic income so that they have enough money to live on ,even if they are not unemployed. To whhat extent do you agree or disagree?