Some people say free time activities for children should be organized by parents. Others say that children should be free to choose what they do in their free time. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

#people #time #activities #children #parents

People

have different

view

Fix the agreement mistake

views

show examples

about the control of

parents

over their

children

's free

time

activities

. Some

people

claim that

parents

can restrict their

children

's free

time

activities

while

others believe that

children

have the right to decide how they spent their free

time

. In

this

essey

Correct your spelling

essay

, I will discuss two different

point

Change to a plural noun

points

show examples

views

Fix the agreement mistake

view

show examples

with reasons and examples. The

people

who believe that

children

have to get permission from their mother or father to play

activities

focus on prevention from immoral situations.

Children

can be affected by harmful media or culture as they are less trained

their

Change preposition

in their

show examples

ability which can help to distinguish what is right or wrong.

For instance

, if

children

lack

Remove the preposition

apply

show examples

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

care from their

parents

, they might be exposed to

violence

Replace the word

violent

show examples

videos or get

along with

bad friends who

boolly

Correct your spelling

bully

other friends.

People

who claim the importance of the parent's

organisasion

Correct your spelling

organisation

for their

children

think that they should be controlled their

time

from their

parents

in those cases.

On the other hand

, giving

children

choices which can select

activities

on their own has more advantages.

To begin

with,

children

can learn how to manage their

time

themselves without pressure. They can recognize how many times are need to relax or to do their tasks themselves and they can find what is interesting. If

children

are organized their free

time

from their

parents

, they may

expericence

Correct your spelling

experience

stucked feelings and those feelings interfere with increasing the effectiveness of

time

management.

That is

why

children

should be given the right to choose their free

time

activities

. In conclusion,

while

some

people

believe that

parents

sholud

Correct your spelling

should

organize their

children

time

and

activities

due to

enexpected

Correct your spelling

unexpected

adverse situations, it is

Correct quantifier usage

apply

show examples

essential for

children

to choose their hobby and manage their rest

time

themselves to improve their ego.

Submitted by jjhtoki on Fri Apr 14 2023

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Fully explain your ideas

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Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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8Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
5Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
14Grammar mistakes
 

5 paragraphs

297 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.5

Complete response

6.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

balanced development
expose children to
tailored activities
promote discipline
foster independence
genuine interests
free play
problem-solving skills
emotional well-being
unstructured time
personal exploration
structured activities

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Some people say free time activities for children should be organized by parents. Others say that children should be free to choose what they do in their free time. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Fully explain your ideas

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

The best way to obtain/ the key to/ most important factor in job satisfaction is salary. To what extent do you agree or disagree? (Best-way)

Many people in poor countries die from diseases that are curable because they cannot afford the medication required. Do you believe that drug companies should make their products available at reduced prices in these countries?

Many governments think that economic progress is their most important goal. Some people, however, think that other types of progress are equally important for a country. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

First impressions are important. Some people think that doing well in interviews is the key to securing a good job. To what extent do you agree?

In developing countries, children in rural communities have less access to education. Some people believe that the problem can be solved by providing more schools and teachers, while others think that the problem can be solved by providing computers and Internet access.