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Band 8

The chart below shows the number of men and women in further education in Britain in three periods and whether they were studying full-time or part-time

The chart below shows the number of men and women in further education in Britain in three periods and whether they were studying full-time or part-time
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The bar graph provides information about the males and females in Britain studying
further
Linking Words
education
Use synonyms
 either part-time or full-time between 1970 and 1991.
Overall
Linking Words
, both sexes show a significant increase in the number who studied part-time
education
Use synonyms
 throughout the years.
Whereas
Linking Words
 a considerable decrease can be seen for those studying full-time
education
Use synonyms
.
However
Linking Words
, it is noteworthy that during the given period, the number of men dropped
while
Linking Words
 the number of women steadily rose. In 1970, 1000
thousand
Use synonyms
 males attended
further
Linking Words
education
Use synonyms
 and studied part-time which is the second highest. After that, the figure went downwards to just above 800
thousand
Use synonyms
, before it slightly climbed (roughly 900
thousand
Use synonyms
). In the years 1970/71 to 1990/91, a minimal proportion of attendees studied full-time approximately between 100 – 250
thousand
Use synonyms
.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, an upward trend can be observed in women who do part-time
education
Use synonyms
 in two decades, rising from an estimated 700 to 1100
thousand
Use synonyms
, which was the highest. Meanwhile, full-time
education
Use synonyms
 is less popular among women in 1970 and 1971 (just over zero), which was the lowest.
Finally
Linking Words
, just over and below 200
thousand
Use synonyms
 in 1980/81 and 1990/91, respectively.

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "further".
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Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.
Vocabulary: Replace the words education, thousand with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "just over" was used 2 times.
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