The chart below shows the number of men and women in further education in Britain in three periods and whether they were studying full-time or part-time

The chart below shows the number of men and women in further education in Britain in three periods and whether they were studying full-time or part-time
The bar graph provides information about the males and females in Britain studying
further
education
either part-time or full-time between 1970 and 1991.
Overall
, both sexes show a significant increase in the number who studied part-time
education
throughout the years.
Whereas
a considerable decrease can be seen for those studying full-time
education
.
However
, it is noteworthy that during the given period, the number of men dropped
while
the number of women steadily rose. In 1970, 1000
thousand
males attended
further
education
and studied part-time which is the second highest. After that, the figure went downwards to just above 800
thousand
, before it slightly climbed (roughly 900
thousand
). In the years 1970/71 to 1990/91, a minimal proportion of attendees studied full-time approximately between 100 – 250
thousand
.
On the other hand
, an upward trend can be observed in women who do part-time
education
in two decades, rising from an estimated 700 to 1100
thousand
, which was the highest. Meanwhile, full-time
education
is less popular among women in 1970 and 1971 (just over zero), which was the lowest.
Finally
, just over and below 200
thousand
in 1980/81 and 1990/91, respectively.
Submitted by lsc_00000 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "further".
Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.
Vocabulary: Replace the words education, thousand with synonyms.
Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "just over" was used 2 times.
What to do next:
Look at other essays: