IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 7

You live in a small university town. Last week, you drove big city about two hours away to buy a new laptop at a good price. You worked on the laptop all week and finished writing a long assignment that is due shortly. However, this week, the laptop doesn't even switch on. Write the store.In your letter. • Tell the store where you live and what happened • Explain the problem with the laptop • State what action you would like the store to take

#university #town #week #city #two #hours #laptop #price #assignment #doesn #switch #store #action
Dear sir or madam Iʼm Jasmina. I bought a
laptop
 from your store
last
week
 at a good price. The
laptop
 worked well for a
week
 and I was able to complete my time-consuming tasks in no time. But
this
week
 the
laptop
 won't even turn on. I live far away from your store. And I've come a long way to buy it. The
laptop
 has been fine for the past
week
 and has been working as expected. But by
this
week
 it is not even turned on. At
first
Add a comma
first,
show examples
 I thought the
laptop
 charger was dead, but it didn't turn on when I put it on the charger. I live quite far from your store now. And a big city will cost a lot of time and extra money. With
this
 in mind, I request you to send a task force and request that you either replace the
laptop
 I purchased or repair the
laptop
 I purchased. Because I am very busy these days and I need a
laptop
 urgently.
Your
Correct the word
Yours
show examples
 faithfully Dusaliyeva Jasmina
Submitted by omondavlat91 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement
Consider specifying the exact model of the laptop and the exact date of purchase to provide more precise information.
task achievement
Try to use a more formal and polite tone throughout the letter. For instance, use "I would appreciate it if you could..." rather than "I request you to...".
coherence cohesion
Avoid repeating similar ideas multiple times, like mentioning the distance and the inconvenience it causes more than once.
task achievement
The letter provides a clear and detailed explanation of the problem with the laptop.
coherence cohesion
The structure of the letter is logical, with a clear opening, body, and closing.
coherence cohesion
Each paragraph focuses on a different aspect of the issue, aiding in the clarity of the message.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Ultimate Speaking practice for IELTS

Practice speaking step by step, answer real-life questions, and build your confidence. Start your free trial and improve your speaking skills today!
What to do next:
Look at other essays:

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!