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Writing Samples
Band 5

The bar chart compares the proportion of 4 divers transportations usage throughout the commuting to work in one of European city in 3 separate years 1960, 1980 and 2000. The unit is measured in the percentage.

The bar chart compares the proportion of 4 divers transportations usage throughout the commuting to work in one of European city in 3 separate years 1960, 1980 and 2000. The unit is measured in the percentage.
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The chart is comparing the percentage of four different
divers
Correct your spelling
diverse
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 transportation using Throughout travelling to their jobs in one European city in 3 different years 1960 , 1980 and 2000 , and the percentage is the measurement of the unit.
overall
Linking Words
, travelling by car was the most used transport vehicle in the recent year.
Moreover
Linking Words
,
bus
Fix the agreement mistake
buses
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 were similar in
usage
Use synonyms
 in all years, and travelling by bike to work was at its lowest use in the recent century.
To begin
Linking Words
 with,using cars to travel was significantly high in percentage at almost 39% in 2000 with
a
Remove the article
apply
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low
usage
Use synonyms
 of it in 1960 at slightly above 6%.
In addition
Linking Words
, bikes were the most used transport vehicle in 1960 at approximately 25%
while
Linking Words
 using them in 2000 was the lowest
usage
Use synonyms
 at almost 6%. In regards to the foot as a way to travel to work, people in 1960 were using it the most and that at slightly before 35% , and in the recent decade was at its lowest by approximately 9%.
Besides
Linking Words
 that,
bus
Fix the agreement mistake
buses
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 were almost the same in
usage
Use synonyms
 in 2000 and 1960 at almost 16% and 18% respectively , and using the bus in 1980 was the highest at a little above 25%.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Introduction: The introduction is missing.
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Introduction: Change the first sentence in the introduction.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words usage with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Only 6 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "approximately" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "almost" was used 4 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "slightly" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
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