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Band 4.5

Extreme sports such as sky diving and skiing are very dangerous and should be banned. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this view?

#sports #sky
In recent years
people
 argue about forbidding dangerous sports like sky diving and skiing, I believe
on the contrary
 highly
risk
sport
 can improve life quality and it’s not dangerous as we think about it. Banning
this
kind
 of
sport
 means less freedom for
people
,
people
 should have the freedom to choose what
kind
 of activity will spend in their labour time. I believe
people
 are aware of the
risk
 of
this
kind
 of
sport
 and they have to be free of what
kind
 of
risk
 they like to take. Most
people
 who do
this
kind
 of dangerous
sport
 are well-trained before doing the activity and beginners in
this
sport
 are not allowed to dive alone. There is safety equipment to use before doing
this
 sort of
sport
 these
equipments
Change the wording
equipment
types of equipment
pieces of equipment
show examples
 has been improved a lot lately If we follow the order the
risk
 factor can be reduced to zero. A variety of sports activity gives human an abundance to choose from what he/she likes. As research shows lately
this
 type of
sport
 with high uncertainty can improve the brain and human willpower.
This
 cordial
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
place is
also
 a very good place to meet new
people
 who
shares
Change the verb form
share
show examples
 the same passion. In conclusion,
this
 form of sports have high
risk
 but the reward
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
also
 high and I believe
people
 must have the freedom to choose what type of
risk
 he/she takes
Submitted by osamakhateeb1 on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • adrenaline rush
  • risk threshold
  • thrill-seeking
  • safety protocols
  • hazard assessment
  • adventure tourism
  • regulatory framework
  • personal autonomy
  • informed consent
  • risk mitigation strategies
  • thrill-seeking behavior
  • protective gear
  • extreme athleticism
  • freedom of choice
  • accident prevalence
  • emergency response
  • courage and resilience
  • endorphin release
  • legal implications
  • peer pressure effects
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