Children should stay at school before 18. Agree or Disagree?

The student does not belong to school when they reach
their
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
18 age. I believe that at
this
age they will find their
future
. In
this
,
essay
Add an article
an essay
the essay
show examples
I totally disagree.
Firstly
,
education
is the most important to our children.
However
, when
student
Fix the agreement mistake
students
show examples
reach
Change the verb form
reaches
show examples
the finish line of their
education
they need to find their own careers.
For instance
, without
Add an article
a job
show examples
job
Add a comma
,job
show examples
they lose their
future
. They can not explore the world without knowledge. They must have freedom when they finish studying.
In addition
, we need to give more attention to our young generation because they said there is the
future
of our nation.
Secondly
, students need to explore the outside world when they graduate from college. They can see different things and they will apply their
education
to there new career they choose.
For instance
, if we keep our students at
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
school they will feel uncomfortable.
Although
education
is very important we need to guide them so they will not afraid to explore their life after finishing studying. They can choose the
future
they want
for instance
doctors, nurses
and
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
etc.
To conclude
,
education
is important to young people but we need to give them the freedom to choose their path. Decide what they want in life.
Submitted by tapiruwinlove on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Ultimate Speaking practice for IELTS

Practice speaking step by step, answer real-life questions, and build your confidence. Start your free trial and improve your speaking skills today!
Topic Vocabulary:
  • cognitive development
  • comprehensive
  • safer environment
  • societal pressures
  • higher education
  • competitive
  • socioeconomic background
  • vocational training
  • mandatory
  • burnout
  • learning experience
What to do next:
Look at other essays:

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!