Children should stay at school before 18. Agree or Disagree?

#children #school

The student does not belong to school when they reach

their

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

18 age. I believe that at

this

age they will find their

future

. In

this

essay

Add an article

an essay

the essay

show examples

I totally disagree.

Firstly

education

is the most important to our children.

However

, when

student

Fix the agreement mistake

students

show examples

reach

Change the verb form

reaches

show examples

the finish line of their

education

they need to find their own careers.

For instance

, without

Add an article

a job

show examples

job

Add a comma

,job

show examples

they lose their

future

. They can not explore the world without knowledge. They must have freedom when they finish studying.

In addition

, we need to give more attention to our young generation because they said there is the

future

of our nation.

Secondly

, students need to explore the outside world when they graduate from college. They can see different things and they will apply their

education

to there new career they choose.

For instance

, if we keep our students at

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

school they will feel uncomfortable.

Although

education

is very important we need to guide them so they will not afraid to explore their life after finishing studying. They can choose the

future

they want

for instance

doctors, nurses

and

Correct word choice

apply

show examples

etc.

To conclude

education

is important to young people but we need to give them the freedom to choose their path. Decide what they want in life.

Submitted by tapiruwinlove on Sat Apr 15 2023

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8Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

207 words

<4

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

cognitive development
comprehensive
safer environment
societal pressures
higher education
competitive
socioeconomic background
vocational training
mandatory
burnout
learning experience

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Children should stay at school before 18. Agree or Disagree?

Your opinion

Ultimate Speaking practice for IELTS

Some people think that older school children should learn a wide range of subjects and develop knowledge. Others think that they should only study a small number of subjects in details. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Sugar consumption is too harmful. Some say it is government’s responsibility to limit sugar intake, while others say it’s individual who are responsible. Discuss both views and give you opinion?

Both governments and individuals are spending vast amounts of money protecting animals and their habitats. This money could be better spent dealing with fundamental issues in society such as poverty and healtheare. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+