IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

It is importanet for people to take risks, both in their professional lives and their pesonal lives. Do you think the advantages of taking risks outweigh the disadvantages?

#importanet #people #risks #lives
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Nowadays, many
people
Use synonyms
 believe that making risky decisions in both work and private
lives
Use synonyms
 is crucial. In my opinion, the disadvantages of taking
risks
Use synonyms
 outweigh the advantages for some reasons. On the one hand, taking
risks
Use synonyms
 brings some benefits. Making risky decisions in their personal
lives
Use synonyms
 means that
people
Use synonyms
 accept to face and solve problems,
although
Linking Words
 some problematic situations can happen. At the same time,
people
Use synonyms
 venture into professional
lives
Use synonyms
 to earn more money even though they can lose their
lives
Use synonyms
 and all of their chances at work. Humans usually take
risks
Use synonyms
 because they will have a one-life chance if something lucky happens.
Therefore
Linking Words
, they can earn more money. In their private
lives
Use synonyms
, when individuals can solve their problems with their friends and families, they can have better relationships.
On the other hand
Linking Words
,
people
Use synonyms
 will face many drawbacks if they are willing to take
risks
Use synonyms
. Individuals need help to achieve their goals quickly.
Therefore
Linking Words
, if they fail, they will lose their finances and
lives
Use synonyms
.
For example
Linking Words
, business
people
Use synonyms
 can invest money in trendy goods.
However
Linking Words
, they can go bankrupt if the products are not vogue anymore.
People
Use synonyms
 will not only lose the economy but
also
Linking Words
 lose their relationships if some extreme cases happen. In conclusion,
although
Linking Words
 there are some advantages to taking
risks
Use synonyms
, I believe more disadvantages can affect
people
Use synonyms
’s
lives
Use synonyms
.
Submitted by tnguyen010096 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: