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Writing Samples
Band 4.5

In some countries, there has been an increase in the number of parents choosing to self-educate their children at home rather then sending them to school. Do the advantages of home education outweigh the disadvantages?

#countries #parents #self-educate #children #home #school #education
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Some countries have an increasing number of
parents
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 who selecting self-teach their
kids
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 at
home
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 rather than sending them to
school
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.
Although
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this
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 may make a child has not a
real-lifelife
Correct your spelling
real-life life
 friend in short-term life, it allows them to be looked after closely by their
parents
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 and I believe that
this
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 advantage far outweighs any potential disadvantages. Self-teach of
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kids
Change noun form
kids'
kid's
show examples
parents
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 at
home
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 could make the
children
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 may not have real-life
friends
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 in short term. When they educated their
kids
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 in the house,the
children
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 will have only family members as
friends
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 and may not have social
friends
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 when they grow up. For
instant
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an instant
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, the
kids
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 who have been taught at the
home
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 may not have another friend to talk to or play with other than their father or mother until they might grow up and go to general
school
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 or university.
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However
Add a comma
,However
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 I do not think that short-term friendless
kids
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 should be seen as a major disadvantage because they will find
a new
Correct the article-noun agreement
new friends
a new friend
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friends
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 when they will be in college.
Home
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school
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 can
closely
Correct quantifier usage
more closely
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 look after
children
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 than another type
teaching
Change preposition
of teaching
show examples
, the
parents
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 can advise and pay attention to their
kids
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 tightly.
For example
Linking Words
, when their
children
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 might be talking with rude words, the
parents
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 could teach and say something to suggest to their
kids
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 immediately. I would argue that close taking care of their
kids
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are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
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 important because
they
Correct pronoun usage
it
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 can teach them
suddently
Correct your spelling
suddenly
. In conclusion,
although
Linking Words
home
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school
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 teaching may make
kids
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 have no
friended
Replace the word
friends
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 in
a
Correct article usage
the
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 short term life, I believe
this
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 downside is greatly outweighed by the upside that the mother and father can look after their
kids
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 tightly more than sending them to an ordinary
school
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.
Submitted by vanil on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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