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Writing Samples
Band 6

Many young people regularly change their job over the years. What are the reasons for this? Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

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In the modern world, several individuals choose to alter their jobs after a few years because of several reasons.
This
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 essay will discuss the pros and cons of
this
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 trend and will draw my personal conclusion. On the one hand,
to begin
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 with, it is common for young individuals to change their work because of the advantages. To be clear, when someone wants to gain new knowledge, they will change their workplace.
For instance
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, many companies do not offer a great salary for employees which can affect their profits
due to
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this
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 fact.
Additionally
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, even though young adults have the opportunity to get hired at big companies, some of them will decline because he or she wants to travel overseas.
For example
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, changing domains and jobs so young people can gain experience and achieve big goals.
Therefore
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, several businesses will attract these folks through deals and a great amount of money.
On the other hand
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,
although
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 of the pros of
this
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 situation, others believe it can affect them negatively. To be specific, whenever workers swap their work profiles, they will not have stability in their
life
Fix the agreement mistake
lives
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. To illustrate, swapping careers every 3 to 5 years can be Inconvenient for those who have responsibilities and a stable lifestyle which
is
Verb problem
makes it
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 difficult for them to move to another country.
To sum up
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, after careful analysis, young folks will shift their careers if they see the benefits of
this
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otherwise
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 others will prefer to stay stabilized rather than move overseas.
It is clear that
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 the advantages outweigh the disadvantages.

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task response
The essay does not fully address the given prompt. The reasons for young people changing jobs are briefly mentioned but lack detailed development. The discussion of advantages and disadvantages is not comprehensive, and the personal conclusion is vague.
coherence and cohesion
The essay lacks logical progression and coherence. Ideas are presented in a disorganized manner, and there is a lack of clear linking between sentences and paragraphs. The introduction and conclusion are present, but they do not effectively frame the essay or provide a clear overview of the points.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • job satisfaction
  • personal fulfillment
  • values
  • fulfilling
  • benefits
  • motivator
  • career advancement
  • skill development
  • climbing the career ladder
  • dynamic work environment
  • adaptability
  • opportunities
  • work-life balance
  • flexibility
  • professional and personal lives
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