In some countries it is traditional for men to work and for women to stay at home to look after the family. What are the advantages and disadvantages of this?
In the modern era,
while
there is an ongoing debate with compelling reasons about some traditions that men who only responsible for household expenses and housewives take care of their children , it leads to intriguing arguments and broadens a person's horizon . In my opinion , I believe that women play a crucial performance in the upbringing of their children, Linking Words
however
, I do not fully agree with the fact that men should be the only ones working in a household , and I am going to put forth my ideas in Linking Words
this
essay.
At the outset , one of the key factors and advantages of my point of view t is mothers have outstanding techniques and ways of looking after their family rather than fathers . Linking Words
Moreover
, it must be pointed out that wives are the best Linking Words
monitor
of their infants during education stages, and it would Fix the agreement mistake
monitors
also
keep the home well-arranged and clean . Linking Words
For instance
, a recent article published in Scientific American revealed that almost 80% of the success of pupils is based on the aspect of wives who devote themselves to teaching their youngsters. Linking Words
Therefore
, the discourse proved that a large part of a family's success depends on housewives.
Linking Words
On the other hand
, one of the primary disadvantages of unemployed ladies is the onus of household expenses falls on the fathers . Linking Words
Furthermore
, it is noteworthy that girls should share in day-to-day fees , and males should participate in housework. Linking Words
In addition
to Linking Words
this
, it would be beneficial Linking Words
that
mothers should contribute to our society with their efforts and experiences. Correct word choice
for
For example
, the latest studies stated that in some fields females have surpassed men Linking Words
such
as medicine and nursing section , because of their talent and skills . Linking Words
Thus
, the previous ideas showed how worker women play a pivotal act in society.
Linking Words
To conclude
, I hold the conclusive proof , which has been outlined above , that the advantages do not outweigh the disadvantages , and Linking Words
hence
I strongly believe that women play an essential role either as housewives or as employees and the onus of the family should be shared between males and females.Linking Words
Submitted by mohammedgameil119 on
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task response
The essay provides a response to the prompt, but the arguments lack coherence and clarity in some areas. More focused and structured paragraphs would improve the overall clarity of the essay.
coherence cohesion
The essay lacks a clear introduction and conclusion, and the logical flow between paragraphs could be improved. Using cohesive devices and linking words more effectively would enhance the coherence of the essay.