There are several factors that motivate people to stay in the workforce, and money is the most important reason/factor. To what extent do you agree or disagree? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. You should write at least 250 words.

There is no doubt these days the
overall
individulas
Correct your spelling
individuals
individual
controversy surrounding the employee matter .The question is what is the
termendously
Correct your spelling
tremendously
vital way to encourage people in term job ?
Im
Correct your spelling
In
this
esay
Correct your spelling
essay
I am going to draw my opinion about
this
issue . In terms of the effective
methoud
Correct your spelling
method
methods
to enhance worker performance through financial rewards .The main reason given to support the claim is ,
significant
Add an article
a significant
show examples
number of people had been working hard enough in order to get money . To illustrate that most
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the parents
nowadys
Correct your spelling
nowadays
they
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
are focusing on their
children
Change noun form
children's
show examples
education and enforce them to pass exams , with good
mark
Fix the agreement mistake
marks
show examples
this
will
incrase
Correct your spelling
increase
the
apportunity
Correct your spelling
opportunity
to have a
perfct
Correct your spelling
perfect
job in future.
Consequenty
Correct your spelling
Consequently
, the
persone
Correct your spelling
person
with
hight
Correct your spelling
high
show examples
qulified
Correct your spelling
qualified
education must
be earn
Change the verb form
be earned
show examples
alot
Correct your spelling
a lot
of
menoy
Correct your spelling
money
memory
.
Moreover
, there are various
method
Fix the agreement mistake
methods
show examples
to motivate the residents but have been
modest
Add an article
the modest
a modest
show examples
effect
Fix the agreement mistake
effects
show examples
on them .
Firstly
, some
instituation
Correct your spelling
institution
institutions
developing
Wrong verb form
develop
show examples
there
Correct your spelling
their
show examples
staff
thruogh
Correct your spelling
through
the special course ,
this
is a modern pattern followed in most of them
neverthieless
Correct your spelling
nevertheless
to improve and
develope informations
Correct your spelling
develop information
and skills.
Scondely
Correct your spelling
Secondly
, extra vacation days
while
the team have been the did
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
great and good work
this
is the way to
appreciet
Correct your spelling
appreciate
them . In conclusion,
although
there is
diffirent
Correct your spelling
different
pattern to motivate staff woh who had been
work
Change the verb form
working
worked
show examples
in
proper
Add an article
the proper
a proper
show examples
method .
Therefore
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
belevie
Correct your spelling
believe
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
financial award is the best to
appreciat
Correct your spelling
appreciate
them
nd
Correct your spelling
and
show examples
change the work
enviroment
Correct your spelling
environment
toward success .
Submitted by dhmshitaghreed on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
Topic Vocabulary:
  • financial security
  • basic needs
  • career advancement
  • pension
  • job satisfaction
  • sense of purpose
  • social connections
  • workplace relationships
  • intellectual stimulation
  • societal norms
  • earning potential
  • motivation
  • livelihood
  • financial independence
  • professional growth
What to do next:
Look at other essays: