Some people think it is important to spend time in developing a successful career while others think it is more importany to spend time with family and friends. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

#people #time #career #importany #friends

There is no doubt that these days some people spend a lot of

time

improving their jobs. The question is, What is more essential, spending

time

with family or with improving career skills? In

this

essay, I am going to write some ideas and draw what I believe. In terms of advantages, Getting more

time

to develop the skills job will give you some benefits. The main reason given to support

this

claim is that improving your successful career will improve your life. To illustrate, your salary will increase and

this

will help you.

In other words

, when you have more pay that will help your family and

friends

For

example

Add a comma

,example

show examples

you will give your family money and that will improve their life.

However

, When you get

time

with your family and

friends

that

have

Correct subject-verb agreement

has

show examples

some positive side.

Firstly

, you will be free.

In other words

, that will help you to rest.

Secondly

, that will improve your work,

This

is because you will come back excited and you will return with energy. ,

Also

you will help your family and

friends

, They may be will need some help and you could help them with money, and work and will help them glad. In conclusion, These notions depend on the person,

For example

, someone like you is with their family and

friends

However

, somebody who loves to improve his skills. I consider that it is necessary to be with your family Because that will help you and when you meet with them you will be happy.

Submitted by mshal2547 on Sun Apr 16 2023

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Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

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‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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7Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

254 words

7.00

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

prioritize
strike a balance
ambitious
dedicated
work-life balance
career-oriented
professional success
financial stability
personal fulfillment
contribute
supportive
cherish
bond
memorable
experience
social connections
commitment
advocate
sacrifice
juggle

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Some people think it is important to spend time in developing a successful career while others think it is more importany to spend time with family and friends. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

Some countries have recently passed laws limiting the daily working hours of employees. Do you think this will have a positive or negative impact.

Some people believe that professional athletes serve as positive role models for young people, while others argue that their behavior both on and off the field can have a negative influence. Discuss both sides and give your opinion.

Some people think governments should spend as much money as possible exploring outer space. Others argue they should spend the money for poor people. Discuss both views and give your own opinions.

Some people think the government should subsidize fruit and vegetables to make healthy food more affordable. Other argue that the government should tax unhealthy food instead. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Some people believe that teenagers should be required to do unpaid community work in their free time. This can benefit teenagers and the community as well. To what extent do you agree or disagree?