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Writing Samples /
Band 7

You recently bought a piece of sports equipment from an online store . When you first used the piece of sports equipment , you find a problem with it . Write a letter to the manager of the online store , In your letter 1. Describe the problem with the piece of sports equipment 2. say what happened because of the problem 3. explain what you would like the company to do .

#piece #sports #equipment #store #first #manager #company
Dear Sir/Madam , I am writing
this
 letter to draw your attention to the manufacturing flaw I have observed in a sports equipment which I ordered from your e-commerce store couple of days back . Specifically , I have ordered 3 items and one of them was a Badminton . When I opened the parcel product seemed quite okay in terms of aesthetics and technicality too .
Moreover
 , I bought
this
 for my younger siblings as a present for the Inter-College Competition . Just the day before her match , there was a
last
 practice session she played using the brand new racket I gifted her and at that time she realised the handle of the racket
has
Wrong verb form
had
show examples
 come out to be without grip
at the end
 and at the usage of the first time .
As a consequence
, she was not able to practice the
last
 session just before the competition which was a crucial scenario .
However
 , as a solution , I would like to request you to kindly replace the product which the brand new or else I would want a complete refund for the amount I have paid . I am attaching the receipt of the Purchase Invoice just for the records with reference number DX1020MH . Thank you for your support and I look forward to your kind response . Thanks and Best regards , Maria Martin
Submitted by nagpalgunika02 on

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task response
Include more details about the impact of the problem on the overall situation. Expand on the consequences of not being able to practice before the competition.
coherence and cohesion
Maintain a consistent and formal tone throughout the letter. Ensure that the greeting and closing are more formal and professional.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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