IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

Some people think reading stories in books is better than watching TV or playing games for children. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #stories #books #tv #games #children
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Although
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 some people believe that reading
books
Use synonyms
 is vital for children, others claim watching
TV
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 or playing
games
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 are
also
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 acceptable for children’s development. In my opinion, I agree that reading
books
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 is a key approach in nurturing children than being in
front
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 of a screen of a
TV
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 or laptop and wasting time. On the one hand, nowadays, the world has become absolutely digital which means a lot of information can be consumed by using a wide range of devices
such
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 as mobile phones, laptops, tablets, and
TV
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, and less – by paper-based resources like magazines, newspapers,
books
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, or periodicals.
That is
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 why the young generation has to break the wheel of
this
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 trend spending more time not in
front
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the
Change preposition
of the
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TV
Use synonyms
 or video
games
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 but exploring new things from the
books
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.
As a result
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, it allows them to be more literate and gain more general knowledge.
On the other hand
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, being slumped in
front
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 of the
TV
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 or playing
games
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are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
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 detrimental
for
Change preposition
to
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children’s health in terms of vision and mental condition. Hours
are
Unnecessary verb
apply
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spent by them in
front
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 of the screen make their eyes dry and,
furthermore
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,
destroy
Correct subject-verb agreement
destroys
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 the eyes’ protection layer.
In addition
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, it might lead to addiction when young people are becoming more sensitive to the gadget, so they make a preference
Change preposition
for
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virtual reality
instead
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 of reality. For children’s
development
Add a comma
development,
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 it may have severe consequences in their future lives. In conclusion, I totally agree that children should pay more attention to reading
books
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 rather than watching
TV
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 or playing video
games
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due to
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 the educational purpose of reading and
Correct article usage
the
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cruel effects of gadgets
Submitted by s_syedy on

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Structure your answers in logical paragraphs

The easiest way to score well on the IELTS Task 2 writing portion is to structure your writing in a solid essay format.

A strong argument essay structure can be split up into 4 paragraphs, each containing 4 sentences (except the conclusion paragraph, which only contains 3 sentences).

Stick to this essay structure:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • cognitive development
  • imagination stimulation
  • linguistic skills
  • audiovisual stimuli
  • interactive learning
  • digital literacy
  • solitary engagement
  • narrative comprehension
  • educational content
  • screen time
  • attention span
  • multimedia experiences
  • well-rounded development
  • motor skills
  • traditional versus modern
  • balanced approach
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