IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 4.5

In some countries , owning a home rather than rentimg one os very important for people. Why might this be the case? Do you think this is a positive or negative situation?

#countries #home #rentimg #os #people #be #case #situation
Owning a home is a dream of many people all over the world
althought
Correct your spelling
although
 it is a developed or a developing country.
This
 essay will discuss the importance of having
an
Change the word
your
show examples
 own
house
 rather than living in a rented property and the potential advantages and disadvantages. In some parts of the world, the total living cost is very high, mainly
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
house
 rental. In
such
 situations , most part of a person's income should
be spend
Change the verb form
be spent
be spending
show examples
for
Change preposition
on
show examples
 their landlords. In
fact
Add a comma
,fact
show examples
 the space would not be satisfiable even if they pay
high
Correct article usage
a high
show examples
 amount of money. Will the residents get a comfortable life
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
 some other's property? It would be doubtful because some of these apartments don't consist of basic facilities. Places with good conditions will cost more. I have
lot
Change the article
a lot
show examples
 of
experiences
Fix the agreement mistake
experience
show examples
 in
such
 matters as I have lived nearly 10 years of my life paying
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
rent.
Although
 we have discussed many negative points about rentals, in my
opinion
Add the comma(s)
,opinion
show examples
 it has some great benefits too. As a doctor and a postgraduate trainee, I have worked in several parts of the country including
Uva
Correct article usage
the Uva
show examples
 , North Central, Central and Western provinces. Even if we get our own home we should be moving to some other places
according to
 our employment needs. In that
case
Add a comma
,case
show examples
 it is very easy to move
in to
Join the words
into
show examples
 a rented
house
 rather than buying houses everywhere you move. Of
course
Add a comma
,course
show examples
 it is not possible at all. Considering all the above facts, in my opinion, living in
an
Change the word
your
show examples
 own
house
 or a rented
house
 has both pros and cons. So we have to evaluate the situation where
we
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
Add a missing verb
are in
show examples
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
carefully and should take
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 better decision.
Submitted by anushka75 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: