the number of people interested in cosmetic surgery is increasing in order to improve their physical appearance. why do people do operations to change their look? do you think it is a positive or negative development?

#people #surgery #appearance #operations #change #development

Nowadays cosmetic

surgery

is a rather controversial topic. Some

people

think that

this

Unnecessary verb

apply

show examples

can not be

apreciate

Correct your spelling

appreciated

appreciate

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

modern society ,

while

others find

such

kind of

operations

Fix the agreement mistake

operation

show examples

a great

possibillity

Correct your spelling

possibility

for improving

face's

Correct article usage

the face's

show examples

features. In my opinion cosmetic

surgery

is a positive development because it can

increases

Change the verb form

increase

show examples

quality

Add an article

the quality

show examples

of life and removes the consequences of different unhappy accidents. First of

all

Add a comma

,all

show examples

it is difficult to decline that some members of modern society can not be satisfied

Change the preposition

with

show examples

their life because these ones think that they have

unpleasant

Add an article

an unpleasant

show examples

appearance

Fix the agreement mistake

appearances

show examples

. In some

cases

Add a comma

,cases

show examples

desired features can improve not only

appearance

Correct pronoun usage

their appearance

show examples

but

also

their feelings about themselves and bring

fullfilled

Correct your spelling

fulfilled

life.

For instance

, some

asians

Change the capitalization

Asians

show examples

have expanded

thier

Correct your spelling

their

eyes and

this

allows them

behave

Add the particle

to behave

show examples

themselves with more confidence.

Moreover

Add a comma

,Moreover

show examples

sometimes cosmetic

surgery

becomes very

neccesary

Correct your spelling

necessary

. Unfortunately, in the modern world, where are a lot of different vehicles and a lot of dangerous

hobby

Change to a plural noun

hobbies

show examples

, scars or other

unpleasent

Correct your spelling

unpleasant

thing

Change the wording

things

show examples

can be got caused by accidents.

Additionally

Add a comma

,Additionally

show examples

some

people

have had marks on

the

Change the word

their

show examples

body since birth, which

are

Unnecessary verb

apply

show examples

attract too

many

Correct quantifier usage

much

show examples

bad attention. In these

cases

Add a comma

,cases

show examples

cosmetic operations can hide all problems and help

people

make their faces clean and

beutiful

Correct your spelling

beautiful

again.

For instance

, it is

rather

Correct article usage

a rather

show examples

popular

practise

Replace the word

practice

show examples

disguised

Wrong verb form

disguise

show examples

scars after different medical operations. In conclusion, I believe that cosmetic

surgery

is an amazing

achievment

Correct your spelling

achievement

Change preposition

for

show examples

humanity

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

because it gives

people

chance to be

staisfied

Correct your spelling

satisfied

and

also

help

Correct subject-verb agreement

helps

show examples

recover

Correct pronoun usage

them recover

show examples

from situations, where their

apperance

Correct your spelling

appearance

have damaged.

However

, I am convinced that it is

also

very crucial for

people

to be able to love themselves

with

Change preposition

despite

show examples

all their disadvantages.

Submitted by galima.ant on Sun Apr 16 2023

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8Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
40Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

269 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 8.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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the number of people interested in cosmetic surgery is increasing in order to improve their physical appearance. why do people do operations to change their look? do you think it is a positive or negative development?

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Some people argue that teaching children of different abilities together benefits all of them. Others believe that intelligent children should be taught separately and given special treatment. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Some people believe that professionals such as doctors and engineers should be required to work in the country where they did their training. Others believe they should be free to work in another country if they wish. Discuss both views and give your own answers.

The internet has become profoundly efficient and popular that people choose it as a platform to learn. Some believe that it would eventually replace the need for books. Do you agree or disagree?

Music should not be taught in schools. Instead other subjects such as computer and science should be taught. Do you agree or disagree with the statement?

Increasing the price of petrol is the best way to solve growing traffic and pollution prob- lems. To what extent do you agree or disagree with the above statement? What other measures do you think might be effective?