some people say that professional workers such as doctors, nurse, and teachers, who make greater contribution to the society should be paid more than those people in the field of sports and entertainment. to what extent do you agree or disagree

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To begin

Linking Words

with, at present some

people

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say that professionals like doctors and teachers should be paid more as their contribution is higher than that of

people

Use synonyms

in the fields like sports and entertainment. But, I do not agree with the above statement as it is cannot be compared. First and foremost, there is no

such

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way to measure the value one gives to

Correct article usage

apply

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society based on his or her job. Our society is diverse with multiple careers and there's no

such

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requirement for everyone to stick to a certain profession.

Furthermore

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people

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choose their paths based on their interests and skills. So , sportsmen, musicians and dancers are

also

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very much needed for the well-being of society.

For instance

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, by forcing a person to become a teacher or a nurse is not effective if that person loves making sculptures. You can get the best out of a person when he enjoys the job.

Additionally

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, sports and entertainment are

also

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essential to maintain the mental health of the community. There is evidence that

people

Use synonyms

enjoyed and admired art and crafts even in the prehistoric era indicating their value to human beings. Even today

also

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we love watching shows and games in order to be relaxed from our busy schedules.

Moreover

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, nowadays school students are encouraged to participate in sports and to learn to play at least a single instrument.

To conclude

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Add an article

the

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occupational contribution is subjective and it varies from one to another.

According to

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my point of view, I believe that all careers are equally required and important to the betterment of the community and should be paid without any discrimination.

vishvaisurangaMon Apr 17 2023

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Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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9
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 7.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

7.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

272 words

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some people say that professional workers such as doctors, nurse, and teachers, who make greater contribution to the society should be paid more than those people in the field of sports and entertainment. to what extent do you agree or disagree

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Some people say that advertising encourages us to buy things that we really do not need. Others say that advertisement tell us about new product that may improve our lives. Which view do you agree or disagree?

In some countries, more and more people are becoming interested in finding out about the history of the house or building they live in. What are the reasons for this? How can people research this?

Having more money and less free time is better than earning less money and having more free time. Discuss both the views and state your own opinion.

Being a celebrity, such as a famous film star or sports personality, brings problems as well as benefits. Do you think that being a celebrity brings more benefits or more problems?