Some young people like to copy the behaviour and clothes of famous people today. Why might this be the case? What problems can it cause?

#people #copy #behaviour #clothes #be #case

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It is true that we live in a world today where the lives of famous

people

are covered through social media, and some believe that children are trying to imitate them. In

this

essay, I will discuss the

reasons

why

this

is happening and the potential issues that can follow. One of the many

reasons

why young

people

in general and teenagers,

in particular

, tend to follow the steps of well-known individuals is because they are constantly bombarded with pictures of celebrities and

this

due to

social media.

Moreover

, kids at a certain age will be looking for a role model, unfortunately, their parents are busy with work and other aspects of life;

therefore

, they

ended

Wrong verb form

end

show examples

up turning to these famous individuals and try to imitate the way they behave and dress.

for example

, the famous actress Angelina Jolie showed herself in a new set of clothes from a brand, and 24 hours later, the sales of that company increased by 20 per cent and the majority of clients were kids under the age of 18.

This

tendency can lead to several potential problems, first of all, kids following the latest fashion an actor wears can be an extra burden on parents, for the

reasons

that those clothes are likely to be too expensive for them to afford, and

this

can cause a feeling of resentment amongst their children.

Furthermore

, there are various famous

people

who are known for their bad behaviour and

this

will definitely have a bad influence on their young fans,

for instance

, a year ago the actor Brad Pitt posted a picture on his Instagram holding a cigar,

as a consequence

, a lot of parents claimed that after their sons saw that, they wanted to smoke a cigar.

To conclude

, there are a variety of

reasons

why young

people

try to copy the deeds of celebrities, and

this

trend can indeed cause several issues.

Submitted by saberyouc on Mon Apr 17 2023

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coherence cohesion

Improve the logical structure of the essay to ensure a smoother flow of ideas and arguments.

coherence cohesion

The introduction and conclusion are present but may benefit from clearer and more impactful formulations to enhance the overall structure of the essay.

task achievement

Provide more specific examples and details to support the main points and strengthen the argumentation.

Fully explain your ideas

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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10
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 8.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

319 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

role models
aspire
influenced by
lifestyle
fashion choices
social media
visibility
accessible
desirable
followers
endorsements
marketing campaigns
trendsetters
peer pressure
conformity
emulate
experiment
identity
express themselves
admire

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Some young people like to copy the behaviour and clothes of famous people today. Why might this be the case? What problems can it cause?

Fully explain your ideas

Governments give a lot of support to artists, even though some people think it is a waste of money that could have been used elsewhere. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Some people believe famous people's support towards international aid organizations draws the attention to problems, while others think celebrities make the problems less important. Discuss both views and give your opinion. agree = followers, lovers, copy disagree = skip, do not care

Some people think that parents should teach children how to be good members of society. Others, however, believe that school is the place to learn this.