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Writing Samples
Band 7.5

The pie charts show the electricity generated in Germany and France from all sources and renewables in the year 2009

The pie charts show the electricity generated in Germany and France from all sources and renewables in the year 2009
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The pie chart provides data on how
Germany
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 and
France
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produce
Wrong verb form
produced
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electricity
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 from all sources and renewables in the year 2009. as an initial overview,
Germany
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 was heavily dependent on conventional thermal in generating
electricity
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. Almost all of the
electricity
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 in
France
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 was generated by nuclear power. both
Germany
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 and
France
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 generate a small amount of
electricity
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 from renewables. Looking into my details, almost 60% of
electricity
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 in
Germany
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 is produced by conventional thermal,Only 23% is by nuclear, leaving 17% to be generated by renewable energy Which was
further
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 divided into 39% generated by Biomass and approximately 37% by the wind.
France
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on the other hand
Linking Words
, generates almost 76% of its
electricity
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 by nuclear and only 10% by conventional thermal Which is the opposite trend of
Germany
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. renewable energy produced around 14% of
France
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's
electricity
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 80% of
that is
Linking Words
 done by hydroelectricity. Wint and Biomass generate 10% and 8.1% of
France
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's
electricity
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 respectively

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Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 70%.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words germany, france, electricity with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "almost" was used 3 times.
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