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Band 6

Some people think that children should study in school the subject of science of food and how to prepare it properly. Other think it is a waste of time, because there are more important subjects to study. Discuss both views and give your opinion with reasons and relevant examples."

#people #children #study #school #science #food #waste #time #subjects
Healthy foods are an essential part of an
individul's
Correct your spelling
individual's
life
. Some people
belive
Correct your spelling
believe
show examples
 that teaching
kids
 about the
subject
science
 of
food
 and how to prepare it properly in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
school would be
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
benificial
Correct your spelling
beneficial
,
while
 others argue there are other important
subject
Change the wording
subjects
show examples
 to study, so it's a waste of time.
Although
 other necessary
subjects
 are support to make
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 better career,
science
 of
food
 helps them to stay in the healthy
liestyle
Correct your spelling
lifestyle
as well as
epand
Correct your spelling
expand
 their lifespan. In my opinion,
Add an article
the school
a school
show examples
school
Fix the agreement mistake
schools
show examples
 should provide
knowledge
 to the
kids
 about
food
.
Firstly
, Parents push their
kids
 to get high marks in
other essential
Change the wording
another essential subject
other essential subjects
show examples
subject
 to place
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
high-paid job. Many reputed companies hire
their
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
employees who get more
knowledge
 and skills in the core
subjects
,
therefore
,
familes
Correct your spelling
families
 trained their
kids
 to get high marks in important
subjects
 because of their future
career
Fix the agreement mistake
careers
show examples
.
For instance
, Most of the IT industries in India are expecting more coding
knowledge
 from the employees
as well as
 they don't care about
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
other skills. because of
making
Wrong verb form
make
show examples
 better future
to
Change preposition
for
show examples
 their
children
Add a comma
,children
show examples
 parents may don't want to waste the
kids
Change noun form
kid's
kids'
show examples
 time
to study
Change the verb form
studying
show examples
 unwanted
subjects
.
However
,
Healthy
Correct article usage
a Healthy
show examples
life
Correct your spelling
lifestyle
show examples
style
 makes
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
person
Change noun form
person's
show examples
life
 better. I agree with
this
 opinion because health is the first priority in people's
life
. If
children
 get the
knowledge
 in
science
Add an article
the science
show examples
 of
food
subject
 in school, they may stay in the healthy lifestyle until the
lastday
Correct your spelling
last day
also
it's helps
Change the verb form
it helps
show examples
 to expand the average
life
 span to the person who
stay
Change the verb form
stays
show examples
 in the healthy
life
Correct your spelling
lifestyle
show examples
style
.
For example
, In Japan, schools include the
science
 of
food
subjects
as well as
 give training
to
Change preposition
on
show examples
 how it prepared properly which helps The
children
 to stay in the healthy
life
Correct your spelling
lifestyle
show examples
style
thats
Correct your spelling
that
that's
 the primary reason why
Correct article usage
the japanese
show examples
japanese
Change the capitalization
Japanese
show examples
 average
life
 span
in
Correct your spelling
is
show examples
higher
Add a missing verb
is higher
show examples
 than the other country people. In conclusion,
Children
 might
to
Change the verb form
apply
show examples
study
other essential
Change the wording
another essential subject
other essential subjects
show examples
subject
to
Change preposition
for
show examples
their
Change the word
a
show examples
 better future, despite
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
, getting a healthy
life
Correct your spelling
lifestyle
show examples
style
 is very important to get
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 better
life
.
Submitted by madhavansubase on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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