IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

Stress related illness are becoming increasingly popular. What are the causes of this? What solution can you suggest?

#stress #illness
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
In today's day of past faced lifestyle and
competition
Use synonyms
, people are faced with numerous challenges. Gone are those days when a simple lifestyle would meet the family's needs.
Stress
Use synonyms
 caused by these challenges and cut-throat
competition
Use synonyms
 can be detrimental to
health
Use synonyms
. Issues like lifestyle and
competition
Use synonyms
 are the leading factors for
Use synonyms
stress related
Add a hyphen
stress-related
show examples
 illnesses.
This
Linking Words
 can be resolved by following safe and regular
habits
Use synonyms
 at
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
personal and professional
levels
Correct the article-noun agreement
level
show examples
. Illness caused
due to
Linking Words
stress
Use synonyms
 can be attributed mainly to
food
Use synonyms
habits
Use synonyms
,
along with
Linking Words
work
Use synonyms
 practices.
Due to
Linking Words
 irregular
food
Use synonyms
habits
Use synonyms
 and their timings, individuals can get dragged into eating junk
foods
Use synonyms
 causing
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
significant damage to their diet. Recently, the uptick in prepared meals
along with
Linking Words
 the growing popularity of the
fast-foodfood
Correct your spelling
fast-food food
 industry had
further
Linking Words
 aggravated
stress
Use synonyms
-related issues as people are now relying on packaged
foods
Use synonyms
 and not focusing on having healthy and nutritious
food
Use synonyms
.
Moreover
Linking Words
,
due to
Linking Words
 ever-rising
competition
Use synonyms
 in professional lives, individuals are required to
work
Use synonyms
 longer working hours to perform well to get bonuses and raises.
This
Linking Words
furthermore
Linking Words
 deteriorates not only their physical
health
Use synonyms
 but
also
Linking Words
 their mental and personal relationship with families,
due to
Linking Words
 a lack of the ability to spend quality time with family.
Hence
Linking Words
work
Use synonyms
habits
Use synonyms
 combined with
food
Use synonyms
habits
Use synonyms
 are the leading cause
for
Change preposition
of
show examples
stress
Use synonyms
-related illnesses. Illness
due to
Linking Words
stress
Use synonyms
 can be mainly addressed by following proper
food
Use synonyms
 and
work
Use synonyms
habits
Use synonyms
 and keeping family in mind. First and foremost, individuals need to be cognizant of the
food
Use synonyms
 they eat. They can maximize
this
Linking Words
 by intake of high protein-rich
foods
Use synonyms
 with varied types
instead
Linking Words
 of junk
foods
Use synonyms
.
Secondly
Linking Words
, people need to strike a perfect balance when spending
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
quality time with family members as well for themselves against
work
Use synonyms
. A dedicated
work
Use synonyms
 schedule with allocated hours for physical
health
Use synonyms
, and mental and emotional well-being is the need of the hour. These two main practices will be a big boost for coming out of
stress
Use synonyms
-related problems. No doubt
stress
Use synonyms
-related illnesses are on the rise with increasing
competition
Use synonyms
 day by day, and it's not going to stop soon.
However
Linking Words
, proper
food
Use synonyms
habits
Use synonyms
 clubbed with physical
health
Use synonyms
 and a dedicated timetable for spending time at
work
Use synonyms
 and off the
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
work
Use synonyms
 setting will be a setting stone to come out of
stress
Use synonyms
-related illness.
Submitted by harshdpatel34 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • stress-related illnesses
  • rapid pace
  • pressure
  • balance
  • omnipresent
  • information overload
  • disconnect
  • economic uncertainties
  • job insecurity
  • financial stress
  • environmental factors
  • chronic stress
  • work-life balance
  • flexible working hours
  • mental health
  • support programs
  • physical activity
  • healthy eating habits
  • awareness
  • accessibility
  • counseling
  • stress management
  • community environment
  • reconnect with nature
What to do next:
Look at other essays: